A song that I listen to over and over again in my car, just belting out the words :)

Since the day before Rebecca left, I've been listening to the soundtrack of the play Chess. As Becca can probably attest, I know every goddamn word on that cd. Ok, well, most of the words. There is a song called Noboby's Side, in which the main character, Florence, is realizing that her current love, the American chess champion, is a prick and he doesn't care one bit about her. Only the game matters to him. It's a pivotal point in the play. (By the way, I really need to see this play live someday.)

The 3 verses from Nobody's Side:

Everybody's playing the game
But nobody's rules are the same
Nobody's on nobody's side
Better learn to go it alone
Recognize you're out on your own
Nobody's on nobody's side.

Never make a promise or plan
Take a little love where you can
Nobody's on nobody's side
Never stay too long in your bed
Never lose your heart, use your head
Nobody's on nobody's side.

Never take a stranger's advice
Never let a friend fool you twice
Nobody's on nobody's side
Never be the first to believe
Never be the last to deceive
Nobody's on nobody's side.

On some levels, I pity Florence because of her hardness. I feel like she's choosing to not trust. She's deciding to close herself off. But then I can also understand why she would want to put up the walls. I think that the more I age and the less I rely on feelings to decide things for me, I can see her motivation. And, truthfully, I can see myself choosing those very same things a lot lately.

I guess probably the most healthy way of approaching this is to know when to distance yourself and when to open yourself up. I guess there are certain times for each trait. After all, she sings this song, and then goes on to open herself up to the Russian chess champ. But that doesn't end well, either, just so you know. :)