Heavy Petting

Remember when you got the YM/YW pamphlet that said you shouldn't participate in "heavy petting"? Hearing that phrase makes me laugh my guts out. Heavy Petting. It's kind of ambiguous, so I decided to look it up on dictionary.com. Here's what I learned:

v. pet·ted, pet·ting, pets v. tr. To stroke or caress gently; pat. v. intr. Informal To make love by fondling and caressing.

To make love?!? Holy crap! So what the hell does HEAVY petting insinuate? Ramming? If merely petting crosses the chastity line, I think a more direct way of saying it would be "Thou Shalt Only Engage in Petting With Thine Spouse; and, If Married, Only Heavily Pet if Both Participants are Down With That Kind of Thing".

By the way, I'm actively rewriting the 10 commandments, loosely based off of George Carlin's book "When Will Jesus Bring the Porkchops?" Funny stuff. Maybe I'll just post his version instead.

Happy Mother's Day!

What better time is there to blog? It's early in the morning and I can hear hustle and bustle downstairs in the kitchen. I'm under strict orders to not leave the bed. Whatever can be happening? ;)

I have some pictures that crack me up, so I think I'll post them. My 3 yr. old son has been prone to falling asleep lately, wherever he might be at the time.

At the top of the stairs, outside the bedroom...

Dinnertime at Winger's...

Isn't that fun? You just never know when you might open a door and find him at your feet, out cold.

He's also done very well at his potty-training lately (snaps to his dad!). He can't differentiate between the words "pee-pee" and "poopie". I laugh every time he approaches me, visibly excited, and says, "Mommy! I just went brown stuff!" What can I say? Maybe he'll be a color-freak, like I am.

Sometimes I worry that his big sister is his best friend. I know that it's really a good thing and that they'll be close when they're grown-ups. So usually my worries don't run too deep. But then I see something like this:

Playing dress-up!

Oh well, kids will be kids. They sure look pretty, don't they? :)

Bob Loblaw Law Blog

A couple of months ago Lee and I went to Phoenix AZ, to catch a couple of Oakland A's spring training games. We went to a porn shop while we were there, and we found a board game that made me think of my sister-in-law, Mandoo. Here's a pic of the game:

Un-Uh! No, He Di'int!

It would be difficult to explain why this reminds me of Mandoo, but check out that title, huh? How related to the title are the women in the picture? Somewhat related, is the answer.

Take a Look; It's in a Book

Facebook sidebar ads are nasty. My stomach is still churning from the last one I saw. It was a poorly made ad with a large dominant image. A zoomed-in picture of greasy-faced teenager skin, with juicy greasy whiteheads popping out of his head. I suppose the ad was for some kind of skin care product, but I wouldn't know because all my attention was on trying to avoid looking at the picture. I was trying to check out my friend's profiles, you know, chillin' on my Facebook account. But just as I couldn't stomach looking at the zits, I equally couldn't, for the life of me, ignore them as well. I kept gagging.

I suppose they're targeting the younger market, and those kinds of issues are emotionally traumatic at young ages. But as for me, I was so grossed out I couldn't even look close enough at the tiny company name. I don't even know who was selling the product. That seems like horrible branding, to me. Too narrow a target with their marketing, imho.

I can't have it open at work because you never know what scantily clad lady is going to pop up on your screen in the form of advertising. For myself, here at home, that kind of thing really doesn't bother me. I'd even let my kids see it, in most cases. But at work, propriety takes over (ha! all my work peeps who read this will argue otherwise about me and propriety!) and I am pretty concerned about what the wrong person (otherwise read as: bosses) might see me randomly looking at on my computer.

Anyway, suffice it to say, I've succumbed to the life of Facebook. Here's something funny though: I was looking at my ex-husband's profile, and I decided to look through his friends to see if there was anyone I knew. I was taken aback for a moment when I saw my mom's name as one of his friends. My mom? On Facebook? B.i.z.a.r.r.e.

The reason why I can't quit my job. EVER.

The system at work just went down, so what better use of my time is there than to BLOG??

I moved desks at work. It's a perk. It's kind of perky. Perkish. I enjoy not staring at a wall anymore. There are too many walls in my life at the time being, so it's a refreshing change to have a nice vantage point of the office. I wasn't too sure about it, until the first day, mid-afternoon, when I beheld this on my white board:

Our new building has a lot of windows. When I saw this prism right here beside me, I knew I loved my new desk. Take note of this awesome picture that has a heart-shaped reflection on the white board. Kismet! Serenity? Karma? DESTINY! :)

I can only muster up lyrics these days...

Broken Seether featuring Amy Lee

I wanted you to know that I love the way you laugh
I want to hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
I want to hold you high and steal your pain

Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

You've gone away
You don't feel me here, anymore.

The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I want to hold you high, you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn and no one left to fight
I want to hold you high and steal your pain

Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough

Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone.

You've gone away
You don't feel me here, anymore.

My Mood for Today

Everlasting Love by Howard Jones

He wasn't looking for a pretty face
She wasn't searching for the latest style
He didn't want someone who walked straight off the tv
She needed someone with an interior smile

She wasn't looking for a cuddle in the back seat
He wasn't looking for a five minute thrill
She wasn't thinking of tomorrow or of next week
This vacancy he meant to permanently fill

I need an everlasting love
I need a friend and a lover divine
An everlasting precious love
Wait for it, wait for it, give it some time

Back in the world of disposable emotion
In the climate of temporary dreams
He wasn't looking for a notch on his bedpost
A love to push, pull and burst at the seams

Is this love worth waiting for
Something special, something pure
Wait for it, wait for it
Give it some time

Is this love worth waiting for
Bitterness will die for sure
Something special, something pure
Is this love worth waiting for