Sunday, March 25, 2007

La: revealed

I have two major issues with my children, neither of which do I handle well. The first is that my 7 year old daughter never says "Okay". She puts up a fight on anything and everything. She expects fun activities and toys, etc., but I cannot engrain the idea of Earning into her.

Where do kids get this sense of entitlement?

The other issue is with my 2 year old son who has The Loudest Scream Ever. And boy, does he use it. One scream and my ear drums are piercing, seering in pain. Most of the time I ignore it, so that he doesn't start thinking he can do it to sway me. But seriously, ouch.

He and I have started working on talking through his problems, instead of screaming. It has actually gotten a little bit better. But there are days that he just wants to let it all out. It's those days that have me so ashamed of myself I can hardly stand it. I lose my patience; I am unable to deal with him.

So now it's out. My deepest darkest secret, which I never admit to openly. I suck as a mother, and my kids are getting screwed up because of me.

Friday, March 16, 2007

It wasn't eavesdropping!

I was eating lunch at Costco today, and next to me was a woman with two men having a conversation. I could hear her describing what I think is a local charter school to the men. She said:

"It emphacizes Christianity and government. Daily we read out of the Book of Mormon and have prayer."

Oh, to live in Utah Valley! My lunch companion then said, "Yeah [a mutual friend] found it hard when he was interviewing for jobs because it's all fine to be non-mormon, but to be EX-mormon? Well that's just not a good thing. He wondered if he should pretend he was never a member and act like he doesn't know what they're talking about."

I wonder if the people next to us heard that.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Like, totally, dude!!

When amidst divorce, one needs to address the CACA.

Child support

Happy Pi Day, everybody!! :)

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Kindergarten didn't teach me everything I needed to know

*Buying bras at anywhere besides Lane Bryant is a waste of time and money. (LB's bras are the best for my shape and size, and they are what turned my self-esteem around. Seriously. I had always wanted a breast reduction until the fateful day when I put on a Cacique bra from LB. They have changed me.)

*Don't mix your liquors.

*Don't drink on an empty stomach, or a full one (in my case)

*An extra 50% off of an already reduced 75% clearance is a fabulous sale. Makes for cheap-ass shopping. (NOT cheap ass shopping. I've never shopped for ass, clearanced or otherwise.)

*Some laws just don't make sense.

*Parents are people too.

*Sex really is a motivational factor for most males.

*Just because you can have a baby, doesn't necessarily mean you should.

*Maintenance is the key, baby. Cars, house cleaning, hair and body, you name it.

What other things does simply living life teach us?

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

I am ALL enlisted 'til the conflict is o'er

Some weeks just suck. Some weeks you just have to put on a happy face, or grit your teeth, and pretend your life is normal. That's hard to do when you wouldn't recognize "normal" if it hit you in the face.

There is so many reasons to be down lately that I really really think I need to sit here and force myself to come up with some good things. So, let's see...

The weather is great today. Or, it was great this morning.

I got my van cleaned yesterday. For two bucks it's looking pretty sparkley.

Heroes is getting better and better. I have to rewind each second to think things through and tie pieces together. If anyone in the room is making noise I freak out. Each little second seems vital. It's good.

Work is a place of safety and escape for me. I like it there.

My sister rekindled a friendship that she had 20 years ago in high school. I'm very excited for her.

Rebecca is coming to Utah to visit. Why isn't she here, this second, in my room with me??? That's what I'd like to know. By the way, Becca, I want to monopolize as much of your time as I possibly can. (Just so you can be prepared for that.)

Okay so there are a few good things going on with me. Also, snotty noses and dirty diapers and complete oblivion aside, my kids have been more fun lately. Right now I guess I'm in a coping phase. Just live each day, don't hurt yourself or anyone else, and endure to the end. Or endure to the next phase, I should say. I feel like I'm Mormon again.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

The point isn't that I watch MTV during the day.

"Aw...what the heck? I'm not doing anything, nothing is on, it's no big deal," I said to myself as I slowly released the recall button I had almost pushed. I set the remote down next to me, and settled guilt-free into my sin as MTV played out on the TV before me.

The show was Underage and Engaged, which I'd never heard of before. Two episodes later, I could feel the guilt creeping in. But the third episode was starting, and in the first minute the engaged couple had said they were each 19, and they were both Mormon. My ears piqued in interest. I had to watch this episode.

The episode was about how the girl had always dreamed of her temple marriage since she was a little girl. Her boyfriend had converted to the church after they had started dating (oh, how that sounds familiar), and he was the only one in his family who was LDS.

My heart broke as I heard his mother in tears talk about how she wouldn't get to see the wedding of her only son. How this young bride wanted her new in-laws there at the temple for pictures afterwards, and his mom said, "They want me here for pictures, but they'll already be married. And I'm just supposed to smile for the camera."

I hope that one day this young girl can see how her unrealistic ideal of how her wedding ought to be was selfish and unnecessary. It was tragic, I tell you.