Thursday, March 08, 2007

Kindergarten didn't teach me everything I needed to know

*Buying bras at anywhere besides Lane Bryant is a waste of time and money. (LB's bras are the best for my shape and size, and they are what turned my self-esteem around. Seriously. I had always wanted a breast reduction until the fateful day when I put on a Cacique bra from LB. They have changed me.)

*Don't mix your liquors.

*Don't drink on an empty stomach, or a full one (in my case)

*An extra 50% off of an already reduced 75% clearance is a fabulous sale. Makes for cheap-ass shopping. (NOT cheap ass shopping. I've never shopped for ass, clearanced or otherwise.)

*Some laws just don't make sense.

*Parents are people too.

*Sex really is a motivational factor for most males.

*Just because you can have a baby, doesn't necessarily mean you should.

*Maintenance is the key, baby. Cars, house cleaning, hair and body, you name it.

What other things does simply living life teach us?


aerin said...

If you have to drink everclear, do not mix it with snapple.

Life is short. Do what makes you happy while you're healthy.

Be wary of the super friendly people at your work who want to be best friends the first day you start there.

Be wary of strange people who comment on your blog ;)

Sideon said...

My incomplete list (because what you listed is awesome):

- lube is always a good thing, and there's no such thing as "too much."

- alcohol and square dancing don't mix.

- bigger is not always better.

- geography has no affect on how much a family can cause happiness or grief in one's life.

- it is possible to fall in love with people you've never met.

- music is a little bit of heaven.

Rebecca said...

The baby one made me laugh. Amen to that!

One thing I've learned is: Drink a lot of coffee, because it will make you feel AAAHHHHHHCOFFEEEEEEEWHEEEEE!!!!

shiree said...

Laura, I love this post! And I miss you. It has been waaaaaaaaaay too long!!!!!!!!!!

I've learned that not seeing someone since HALLOWEEN really sucks!!!!

La said...

Awww... THANKS you guys. I heart comments, big time. Even from strangers!!

Shiree, Amy's party is coming up, so get ready to smooch me. Or at least see me and have fun.

Don, I've learned that there IS such a thing as too much lube. It can get to the point where you don't even feel anything!! :)

Another thing I've learned (thanks Rebecca for reminding me):

Caffeine is a staple in any sane person's diet.

Eight Hour Lunch said...

And if I can add just one I've learned...

If your seven-year-old daughter says, "Close your eyes, I want you to taste something" you're better off if you don't.

Sister Mary Lisa said...

1. Never tease your mom about how big her nose is. Yours will be bigger someday.

2. Wear shorts and swimsuits all you can while in high school. It's the best you'll look, so live it up.

3. Writing down the funny things your kids say is wise, because no matter how good you think you'll remember it, you will not.