Monday, February 26, 2007

My kids watch The Brady Bunch. How cool is that?!

I'm in a very transitory place in my life right now. In some ways, I'm happier than I've ever been. In other ways, I'm lost and hopeless. It makes for consistent entertainment, believe me. :)

A thought I had the other day: my family has been pretty lucky when it comes to health and wellness. 6 kids and 20 grandchildren, and most of us have had few problems. Even my nephew Oliver, who recently had heart surgery, was at a fairly low risk. And now he's healthy and happy and cute as ever.

But surely at some point I'm going to lose someone I love. I know it's a waste of a thought, but even just the thought can bring me to tears. I don't want my family to change. I have a dear friend who lost a sibling and it has nearly shattered her. Oh, how I can empathize with that.

K. I'll stop worrying about it now. (Although, it's an inevitability, so maybe it's not a waste of a thought... hmm...)

My mom got notice last week that the request for my dad to be sealed to his new wife (well, almost 10 years new) was approved. My dad's bishop had called her on the phone and asked her if she had any objections. Well, she most certainly did. The bishop instructed her to write them down in the form of a letter and forward it to him. That was a few months back, and now, just out of courtesy, he informed her that the request had been granted. Totally and completely despite what mom had said. Now she's just shaking her head and wondering why on earth they even involved her at all. And what exactly could she have said that would've made a difference? It's maddening.

It's bizarre to go through the check out at Albertson's and hear the cashier talking about Joseph F. Smith with the customer in line ahead of you. On a Sunday, no less.

My 30's are going to rock. Too bad I have 9 months left until then. Ho-hum... ;)

Thursday, February 08, 2007

I write weird :)

My most favorite person told me that he has a hard time reading what I write because he's never sure if there's more to it. He feels like he's missing something.

When I write, there is usually other meanings than just what's on the surface. I use writing as an outlet for thoughts, and my thoughts are usually focused on what's in front of me. But instead of coming out and telling everyone my intimate details, I think of a representation for it. My friend can see there's symbolism, but it's hard for him to process his way through it.

So take, for instance the lyrics of the song World Full of Nothing by one of my faves, Depeche Mode. (to be continued...)

Skin on skin
Tears are falling
Tears of joy
Her first boy
His first girl
Makes a change
In a world full of nothing
Though it's not love
It means something

She's lonely
And he says
It's for her only
That he lusts
She doesn't trust him
Nothing is true
But he will do
In a world full of nothing
Though it's not love
It means something

It's easy to slip away and believe it all

Though it's not love
It means something

Almost every time I post a song, it's because the lyrics are poignant to me in that moment. The internet isn't a safe medium for me to go into the details of why it may be poignant. So I think of a way to vent my life without putting too much of myself out there. While it may be true that I wear my heart on my sleeve, that doesn't mean I'm reckless with it. :)

They MADE Me Switch!!

I'm all updated to the "new" blogger. Ugh. And I just got a welcome note in my gmail inbox. DOUBLE ugh.

I was so being resistent to that change. They made me change. I didn't have a "no thanks" option. I feel so violated.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Just for fun

Perfect Combinations

Bacon and orange juice

Chocolate chip cookies and milk

Boo and Harvey (my cat and my dog)

Me and my bed

A warm blanket and a heater vent

Firefly and a big screen tv

Me and my old car, my black Hyundai Sonata with tinted windows. (It matches my new phone! no wonder I love that phone so much...)

My skin and Cashmere

Less-than-perfect Combinations

Diet Coke and mint flavored gum

Coffee and my stomach

Purple pants and anything

Hard toilet paper and bums (OR the kind that leaves lint. Ew.)

Cocktail waitressing and high heels

Politicians and believability

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Early Morning Reflections

(second writing. first one got deleted. lets see if I can remember... ARGH.)

In my living room I have a special corner with all my favorite things. I sit under my dimly lit paper lantern and read a book, light an incense, stare at my children's pictures, or maybe contemplate my relationships and my life. Yesterday I was enjoying my chair in my corner, and I realized I have each of my favorite things there. As I thought about it, each of my favorite things took on a symbolic representation, and I found it interesting that they're all things I strive for inside of myself. For instance:

Rainbows: a new beginning, a fresh start

Buddah: peace and tranquility

Dolphins: fun-loving and free-spirited

Dragonfly: beauty in all things

Another experience I had yesterday was that I had to wake up early, get out of my warm bed, to move my car. I grumbled as I stepped out of the front door into the bitter morning cold. It was coincidence that I happened to look up at all, but I'm glad I did. The lavendar sky was crisp and clear as it stretched out before me. The serenity of early morning calmed my flustered heart.

Spring is a time to remember life and growth. It's about surviving the dark, bleak winter. It's almost here, you know.