Sunday, September 16, 2007

*cough* *cough* There's a hairball in my throat!

At work we have to read these corny corporate novels, in an effort to unite us or make us more effective or some other positive--yet unseen--result.

The latest book, though, is really fun to read and I like some of the ideas presented. It's called Orbiting the Giant Hairball by Gordon MacKenzie. He worked for Hallmark, and tried his best to remain creative and free-thinking, all the while remaining dedicated to the corporate goals and vision.

I'd like to share a blurb that struck me as especially poignant.

"Being infinite, the whole of reality is too much for the conscious human mind to grasp. The best any one of us can do is to take the biggest slice of Infinite Reality that we can hold -- intellectually, spiritually, and emotionally -- and make that slice our personal sense of what is real. But no matter how broad it is, any human perception of reality can be no more than a tiny sliver of Infinite Reality."

I don't know if it's religion or human nature or western culture or what, but we all seem to think we know stuff. We feel like we have such a grasp on history and the future, however, our certainty is just an illusion in the grand scheme of things.

My next short term goal: to analyze my slice of Infinite Reality, and try to grasp it.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Protect Your Junk

Relationships are hard work. I was talking with a girl today and she told me that she doesn't really let her relationships go much longer than 4 months, because that's when the excitement wears off and the dirty work starts. On the one hand, that's sort of sad for her. But on the other hand, while sad, I can totally relate to her.

A while back I was pondering the not-so-enigmatic-but-still-tough-to-figure-out Me. "Why do I react the way I do?" I asked myself. "From whence does my impatience come?"

I know I'll get ridiculed by some people who read this blog for saying this, but so be it. I hold some kind of belief (though it's not quite strong enough to be an actual belief) in the cycles of the solar system and stars, and the effect they have on our lives. I relate so well to the Sagittarian. If I had never heard anything about the Zodiac before, and then read through a fair description of each sign, I would immediately recognize that I myself am a Sagittarius.

Here is an amazing description of what it means to be Sagittarius (from

Life Pursuit: To live the good life
Vibration: Overly expressive - frequent burnouts
Sagittarian's Secret Desire: To make a difference in the world

Ruled by the benefic planet Jupiter, Sagittarians possess a natural exuberance, sense of adventure and love of life that makes them one of the most optimistic zodiac signs of all. Like their astrological symbol - the Archer - Sagittarians are renowned for aiming their sights towards whatever it is they find alluring - a love partner, dream job, vacation - and making it their own. They believe that anything is possible - and because of this belief system, Sagittarians are adept at seeking out their very own pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

But sometimes trying to tie down these free-spirited individuals is frustrating for those around them. Sagittarians are happiest on the move - exploring new cultures and ideas and many are attracted to occupations related to travel, the media, outdoor work and philosophical pursuits. In love, their catch-cry is "don't fence me in". But once they find a partner who understands their need to retain their own sense of self and identity, Sagittarians can be the most big-hearted, generous and fun-loving companions of all.

Freedom loving, optimistic and honest, Sagittarians are ruled by Jupiter, the planet of abundance and higher learning. The wisdom of Jupiter imbibes Sagittarians with an inherent need to develop their own unique philosophy of life. The Centaur is their astrological symbol, and it gives many insights into the Sagittarian personality. The higher-evolved Sagittarian learns to integrate the two ends of the Centaur (half-human, half-beast) in order for their arrow (another Sagittarian symbol) of higher aspirations to be more on the mark. Although they are intellectually and spiritually advanced, Sagittarians are notorious for their lack of tact. In relationships they demand independence, but when in love, it can't be denied that they are one of the most big-hearted signs of the zodiac.

I can't begin to explain how all this hits home with me. Horoscopes? Don't hold weight with me. Astrocharts? Fun, but that's it. This description, however, couldn't be more dead on of qualities I aspire to and, in some regards, inadequacies I already embody.

Does this explain me? Not entirely, but it's a darn good start. Sometimes I think of myself as a free-spirited horse who willingly and knowingly allows herself to be bridled by restraints. I aspire to have a relationship where this is understood, and I'm allowed to be myself.

Monday, September 03, 2007

Because Life is for the Living

I have a 20 year old nephew named Andy. He hasn't been, how shall I say, "on the right track" for the past couple of years. He's a good kid, but has made some bad choices recently. His worst choice took place a couple of Friday's ago.

He was street racing on his motorcycle down a residential street (no need to comment on the idiocy; we're all very aware, and especially he is). He was going about 60 mph until the road turned and he was forced to slow down. There was a car on the opposite side of the street where it turned, and Andy didn't have enough control to make the turn. He slammed into the parked car at about 40 mph, and was thrown over it onto the lawn.

Given the fact that he was sans helmet, he came out of it pretty well. He broke his left femur, and had a small fracture in the tibia of the same leg. They put a titanium rod in his upper thigh, from his hip to his knee, which he will have for the rest of his life. They also put pins into the lower leg, to keep the bones stabilized.

We had a family BBQ this past Saturday, and Andy was able to hobble to the patio, where he sat with his leg up for most of the afternoon. He was pleasant and grateful (straying from his norm) and it really gave me optimism to see how nice he was to his siblings and mom.

My sister is an emergency room RN, so she's accustomed to seeing all sorts of injuries. It has been very hard for her to see her own son in such a condition. She's also used to sending patients home or to another floor, so she doesn't normally have exposure to the healing process. Healing is slow and painful, she's learning. I think this experience has been a good one for everyone in their family. I think they are growing closer, and I think they will have more respect for one another as well. It's good.