Relationships are hard work. I was talking with a girl today and she told me that she doesn't really let her relationships go much longer than 4 months, because that's when the excitement wears off and the dirty work starts. On the one hand, that's sort of sad for her. But on the other hand, while sad, I can totally relate to her.
A while back I was pondering the not-so-enigmatic-but-still-tough-to-figure-out Me. "Why do I react the way I do?" I asked myself. "From whence does my impatience come?"
I know I'll get ridiculed by some people who read this blog for saying this, but so be it. I hold some kind of belief (though it's not quite strong enough to be an actual belief) in the cycles of the solar system and stars, and the effect they have on our lives. I relate so well to the Sagittarian. If I had never heard anything about the Zodiac before, and then read through a fair description of each sign, I would immediately recognize that I myself am a Sagittarius.
Here is an amazing description of what it means to be Sagittarius (from http://www.psychicguild.com/horoscopes_zodiac.php?sign=Sagittarius):
Life Pursuit: To live the good life
Vibration: Overly expressive - frequent burnouts
Sagittarian's Secret Desire: To make a difference in the world
Ruled by the benefic planet Jupiter, Sagittarians possess a natural exuberance, sense of adventure and love of life that makes them one of the most optimistic zodiac signs of all. Like their astrological symbol - the Archer - Sagittarians are renowned for aiming their sights towards whatever it is they find alluring - a love partner, dream job, vacation - and making it their own. They believe that anything is possible - and because of this belief system, Sagittarians are adept at seeking out their very own pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
But sometimes trying to tie down these free-spirited individuals is frustrating for those around them. Sagittarians are happiest on the move - exploring new cultures and ideas and many are attracted to occupations related to travel, the media, outdoor work and philosophical pursuits. In love, their catch-cry is "don't fence me in". But once they find a partner who understands their need to retain their own sense of self and identity, Sagittarians can be the most big-hearted, generous and fun-loving companions of all.
Freedom loving, optimistic and honest, Sagittarians are ruled by Jupiter, the planet of abundance and higher learning. The wisdom of Jupiter imbibes Sagittarians with an inherent need to develop their own unique philosophy of life. The Centaur is their astrological symbol, and it gives many insights into the Sagittarian personality. The higher-evolved Sagittarian learns to integrate the two ends of the Centaur (half-human, half-beast) in order for their arrow (another Sagittarian symbol) of higher aspirations to be more on the mark. Although they are intellectually and spiritually advanced, Sagittarians are notorious for their lack of tact. In relationships they demand independence, but when in love, it can't be denied that they are one of the most big-hearted signs of the zodiac.
I can't begin to explain how all this hits home with me. Horoscopes? Don't hold weight with me. Astrocharts? Fun, but that's it. This description, however, couldn't be more dead on of qualities I aspire to and, in some regards, inadequacies I already embody.
Does this explain me? Not entirely, but it's a darn good start. Sometimes I think of myself as a free-spirited horse who willingly and knowingly allows herself to be bridled by restraints. I aspire to have a relationship where this is understood, and I'm allowed to be myself.