Thursday, September 14, 2006

Reflections of reflections

MMM...no better way to start the morning than with a nice hot cup of Hazelnut Creme coffee, sweetened with monkey placenta and non-fat creamer.

Okay all you nay-sayers out there: I don't care about where stuff comes from. Rebecca has tried to scare me into not eating meat products. Was she successful? Is President Bush's approval rating rising? Oh say can you see the McDonald's two cheeseburger extra value meal...

The idea of my friend, Splenda, coming from the embryonic sac of primates just makes it all the more interesting. Who knew monkey placenta could be so versatile? You can use it in drinks, because it dissolves like a mofo, and you can use it in baking! The best part? Picturing a little monkey in my cup, wishing me a pleasant day.

25 comments:

Eight Hour Lunch said...

Ah, monkey placenta. Nice low-cal way to start the morning. And here I thought it was the caffeine that got me all wired. It's got to be the monkey.

Eric said...

I nearly spit out my fructose-laced, corn syrup impregnated, sugar sprinkled corn meal with milk with that last line.

E

Sister Mary Lisa said...

LOL, La. You are too funny. It must be due to the excessive monkey placenta in your system.

Rebecca said...

Hey, I DID NOT TRY to scare you into not eating meat. I just told you that the book freaked me out and that meant is apparently not safe. I didn't even tell you the details. But I CAN if you WANT. Also, YOU are the one who said that Splenda will probably be linked to ebola or hepatitis or something. I was just agreeing with you. I prefer my coffee sans monkey. Ack - hairball.

Molly The Mormon said...

This just proofs that drinking coffie is bad for you. Joseph Smith was write.

If you all will just follow the word of wisdom, you won't have to worry about diseases like elbola.

I will pray for you.

Yours,

Molly the Mormon

Sideon said...

Molly Mormon needs a coffee enema. Black. No sweetener or cream.

She can call in the morning if she wants to, but I won't be interested.

Sister Mary Lisa said...

Sideon, maybe we should throw a coffee party and invite Molly for her "enema." However, I'm afraid that people like her actually secretly enjoy such things and that might be too much for her psyche to bear.

Eric said...

Coffee enema: boiling hot, right from the pot. In fact, the best way is to insert a tube with a funnel on the end of it and dump the coffee in right from the pot. But use some dollar store crap so you're not wasting good coffee.

Simeon's Peep Stone said...

Hey, Let's be nice to Molly. How will we ever turn her to the dark side if we don't fellowship her. La, I'm assigning you to be Molly's Visiting Teacher. Eric, you are her Home Teacher. This way you can do it at the same time and kill two birds with one stone. Or a 2 Monkeys if you prefer so La will have more sweetener.

Sister Mary Lisa said...

LOL. I'm scared that Eric described the enema in such detail. Have you by chance performed one before?!

Sister Mary Lisa said...

It just occurred to me...if you happen to be out of Splenda when you are creating the enema for Molly, I have a Barrell o' Monkeys I'd be willing to throw in instead!

Sister Mary Lisa said...

Barrel of Monkeys. Or however you spell it. I got so excited over my idea I couldn't think straight.

Bishop Rick said...

Wow, you guys are harsh. And all this over a little monkey business.

lpnmjwc

Sister Mary Lisa said...

BR, you'd think it was harsh, especially if you are in actuality Molly.

Arizona Expositor said...

Do the monkeys in La's coffee have anything to do with the monkey sex practiced in outer blogness? Because I have never talked about monkeys or sex so much in my whole life, well at least not since I was dipped in the waters of LDS baptism.

Sister Mary Lisa said...

AZ, of COURSE the monkeys here have something to do with sex. I think. Wait, I need a (hopefully graphic) explanation about what monkey sex is...I'm not quite sure what I'm talking about. I need enlightenment. Maybe I should be reading the Kama Sutra right now instead of this blog.

Arizona Expositor said...

Monkey sex for me is any sex that just blows your mind and senses away, of course there is a little more involved but for the sake of modesty I will leave it at that.

My mind is wandering again, better get home to garment/thong wearing TBM wife...Oh and it's that time for her monthly Brazilian Wax Job. Boy sex is better now that I am an apostate, why is that?

Bishop Rick said...

I don't know why you guys think I am Molly.

Have we confirmed that she is not AZ's wife yet? She has her picture up on her blog now so we need to narrow this down.

ahiwaz

Sister Mary Lisa said...

I like the picture ~ she looks like the gal who plays the witch on the old TV show Bewitched. Is it her?

And BR, methinks thou dost protest too much.

Bishop Rick said...

sml,

It does kinda look like Samantha, but I can only assume it is Molly.

rkatdrxy

Montgomery Q said...

I havent had sex with a monkey, unless you count a blowjob, cause then I have

I think the dfwjb is my favorite comment word verification.

Arizona Expositor said...

Well if Molly is BR, I am very disappointed. If not maybe then I will convert to some polygamy group and take for my "spiritual" wife. She does seem to be pretty fundalmentalist. I wonder what current TBM wife would say?

Can you imagine that?

Honey I am believing again in Joseph, and I have my new Spiritual wife with me, can you sleep in the guest room tonight? We need to consecrate our spirits.

Nope I can't imagine that conversation either.

Bishop Rick said...

AZ,

Go for it. Molly is kind of a looker.

tuatpz

Arizona Expositor said...

Are you sure you are not Molly, Bishop Rick? You and her remind me of Clark Kent and Superman, all of a sudden BR is here and then the next moment Molly. I think this is worth looking into.

So how many more comments can La get on this post?

Bishop Rick said...

At least one more.