Monday, September 11, 2006

Love of a child

I had a moment of REO earlier. (That's random emotional outburst, for those not in the know)

My 6 yr old daughter and I were watching the dateline special about United flight 93. She had learned about the significance of this date in school today, so she was interested in hearing more about the story.

Jane Pauley would talk and interview family members of the passengers, and I'd explain to my daughter in words she could understand. I cried through the whole second half of the show. At one point, I asked her if she knew why I was crying. She said she didn't.

"What would you do if we got a phone call from daddy, saying that he loves us and telling us goodbye," I asked her. "What if he called us, knowing that he would die in the next few minutes?"

She got quiet. She looked to the television, then back to me. "Mommy, when will daddy be home from work? Will I be awake?" Gut-wrenching.

For a moment, in her innocence, I had the realization that all my anger is uncalled for and my opinions of how children should behave are superfluous, and I need to think of her as a human being. At any moment we could be ripped apart from each other, and I don't want her memories of me to be someone who was bugged by her presence. She's teaching me so much about life.


Sister Mary Lisa said...

My kids were watching a special about the flight 93 the passengers prevented from hitting the capitol building all evening. It's interesting how fascinated they are by the events they barely remember. I'm glad they are interested though. Anything less would be unthinkable.

Rebecca said...

You are a good mom. And that is not easy.