Sunday, July 23, 2006

I have no morals *sigh*

Today I was sleeping off a night of dancing and booze. Yeah, so I was sleeping a little late, I'll admit! But I was not hung over. Nuh-uh.

Anyway I felt a little tickle on my chest. I looked down and there was a little pale spider crawling on me. Just a little tiny one. I calmly grabbed it between my thumb and forefinger, and smushed its little life away. Then went back to sleep.

It was something I did without thought, but afterwards I felt really bad. I don't care about the spider, per se, but I do care that I could so thoughtlessly kill something that I've sworn to protect. How can I proclaim, with integrity, that I let spiders go free?!? I can't now. All is lost.

The spiders used to be able to count on me, for life, for freedom. They eat mosquitoes, I set them free. Easy peasy. And now? I think they'll set their mosquito-dinners free just so they can come suck out my blood. Just for revenge....

Ah, the despair!


Sideon said...

Active versus re-active.

So you killed a bug reflexively. Give yourself a break. What if it had been a bigger spider? A tarantula? A snake? A mouse? A rat?

When you're not waking up and in a different mind-set, you take the bugs outside.

Don't be so hard on yourself. :)

(I said "hard on" in a non-sexual reference for a change.)

Joseph's Left One said...

It's because you lost the spirit, you know.

You're a lovely soul, Laura. Be happy, and don't shed any tears over the bugs.

Eric said...

I'd be scared if La could squash a rat between her fingers.