Friday, October 13, 2006

Tequila--a Friday Funny

Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmecist about tequila.

Tequila is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Tequila can help ease you out of your shyness, and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything! You'll notice the benefits of tequila almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses, you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you'll discover many talents you never knew you had.

Stop hiding, and start living, with tequila!

Tequila may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use tequila. However women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, drymouth and a desire to sing karaoke, and play all night rounds of strip poker, truth or dare and naked twister.

Warning: the consumption of alcohol may make you think you're whispering when you're not; is a major factor in dancing like a retard; may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you're in love with them; also may cause you to think you can sing. Alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning. Alcohol may make you think that you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. It may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people; and it may lead you to think that people are laughing with you. Alcohol may cause pregnancy, and it also may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked.

So what are you waiting for? Stop hiding, and start living, with tequila!!


from the ashes said...

La--you are awesome! That's the funniest thing I read in a long time. This is the first time I've read your blog, and I'm hooked. Can I add you to my blog list?

I used to take a shot of tequila before I had to go socialize with my mo-neighbors shortly after I stopped attending the ward. Oh, it made things so much easier.

La said...

FTA-- hi!! You absolutely can link me!

I wish I could take creative credit for that post, but it was a sound clip my brother sent me. And it was oh-so-true-to-life! :) Glad you like it!

Sister Mary Lisa said...

LOL, La, I heard that clip too and it was hilarious. Sounded just like a commercial for Viagra.

Rebecca said...

NICE. Also may cause alcohol poisoning and liver damage - but really, WHO CARES??? Live fast, die while you still have boobs and teeth.

Christy said...

Now you KNOW I love this! Awesome!

La said...

Christy: I am SO excited for Halloween. I'm a tequila whore, thanks to you. No, seriously! I thought you were suh-damn cute taking your tequila shots that I wanted to be just like you! And now look at me...I'm the first one naked most of the time (Mom and brothers skip that last line!)

Eric said...

One of my favorite songs...

by The Champs







Bishop Rick said...

This post reminds me of my favorite movie...tequila mockingbird

pzyqvsx - something a russian would say after consuming tequila

Or the product number for pzy or sx on QVC

Bishop Rick said...

I can't sleep. I think this qualifies for Blogaholic.

phtdr - result of 1 bean burrito

Christy said...

Oh La, I'm so glad to know that I helped influence you in the wonderful ways of Tequila! I remember that night very well... and so does J! He'll always remember singing Toto and Kansas at the top of his lungs with you that night. All I can say about Halloween... BRING IT ON!!! I can't wait!

Just one of many said...

I am currently under the influence of the before mentioned tequila and may i say life is great!!

Sideon said...

Ay caramba!

I pray to the gods of Cazadores, Herradura, and Petron (only a demi-god).

There are too many embarassing stories in my history that involve tequila. Dancing on tables, money in briefs, crazy parties...

I'm still recovering from a bday party almost 2 years ago - 10 doubleshots. I was sick for 3 days.