Something happened to me last night which hasn't happened in well over a year.
I was getting ready for bed, thinking about the day, thinking about life. I thought about how a friend of ours is going out of town for the weekend, and before I knew it, this thought popped into my head: "Please, God, bless ____ to have a safe flight, and find peace in his life."
I didn't always say my prayers at night. I didn't like kneeling beside the bed, and I didn't like such a physical display of humility. *insert judgement here* But what I did do, however, was keep constant prayers in my head. I would "converse" with God in my head all the time. The idea of there existing someone who could read my mind, know my thoughts, always bugged me. But I would tuck away that negativity and I learned to embrace the God In My Brain.
After I lost my belief in the truth of the LDS church, I applied the same questions to my belief in Jesus and God themselves. I couldn't prove their existence or divinity, which is the only way I would believe. At this point I'd need God himself to descend his throne and show me exactly how that immaculate conception worked. (heehee, I'm so dramatic!)
And now we've reached the Point of this post: It was easy for me to get that god out of my brain. I stopped attributing my OWN thoughts to him. I've learned that any conversations were with myself. So, last night, I threw myself for a loop when I realized what I was saying. It was foreign and strange to me. I had to shake my head and say, "Huh??"
I'm not worried about it though. The energy behind prayer is valid, and I do wish my friend peace. It was just a moment of weirdness, and the best thing to do about those is to blog about them! :) Happy Thursday, friends!