Thursday, June 22, 2006

Growing Up

I live in the same town I grew up in. I've been in 4 different houses since my childhood home, but it still is the home I dream about. It has been painted white, a garage has been added, the almond tree is gone, and a plum tree is now there. But it's still my house.

I just drove past it while out running errands. I drive by it fairly frequently, because it's sort of central. I usually just feel bitterness that it's so different looking now. Today it was the feeling that was different.

I remembered running home from my friends' houses, hurdling my next-door neighbor's rose bush EVERY time. I remembered hiding behind a weeping willow that was on the front right corner of the house. I remembered using the hose like a "canyon" or "river", and doing long jumps across it, each time moving it wider and wider. I remember doing plays on my front lawn with my friends while my dad patiently (and endearingly) watched us.

Did I have any idea , as a young child, of the woman I would become? Is that little girl still inside me or have I suppressed her enough that she's faded completely? I think that if I were able to meet my child self, I think she'd like me. I think she'd say I'm pretty cool. And she would say that I'm beautiful, even though my grown up self doesn't often think so.

It was a good having a different feeling this time.


DFB said...

Okay, my last comment didn't show up, so I'm writing it again because its poignant and on-topic.

Do you remember what was different about our cookie-cutter split-level from all the other cookie-cutter split-levels? It had a step up from the entry into the living room. Most don't have this. In fact, I've never seen this design and I see a lot of cookie-cutter split-levels (think of Dorothy's house). People were always tripping as they went into the living room because its just not there in any other house.

Anyway, Sis. Dingwall was over one day doing Sis. Dingwall stuff and she got up to leave. She took a complete header off that step and landed on her face in the entryway. Then she continued all the way down the stairs into the family room. She rolled over like twice and ended up flat on her back, legs straight up in the air, with her garmies all hanging out of her skirt. I couldn't even wait to see if she was okay before I literally RAN into the backyard to laugh my ass off. Okay, I'm immature, but I was only 12-yrs old. Ahh.. that house was awesome!

La said...


And I do NOT use that cyber-term lightly.

Montgomery Q said...

dingwall's the name. doris dingwall.