I am, of course, speaking of my son. To my son on your second birthday:
You're a booger. A gigantic one. May one day the terror you have inflicted on us thus far be returned upon you at least five-fold. Possibly ten.
May your children be hyperactive. May you groan as your parents buy your children obnoxiously noisy toys which your children will love to sound over and over again. May their heads find every surface to knock against, to the point where you mostly don't worry about head wounds.
May they have the most mischievous eyes EVER. May they grin at you and your heart melts and you can't help but scoop them in your arms. May they be able to get away with murder.
I love you, boy.