Wednesday, November 07, 2007

A Year Ago...

...I had things to say. People read what I had to say. I read other people's things that they had to say. It was such a nice cushy blog-existence.

But now it's barren.

I ache to write. I formulate topics and phrases in my mind all the time. I think of funny thoughts and wonder how I can translate the humor into written words.

But I don't write them down.

I still care so strongly for the friends I made. When I consider them, my heart warms and I can't help but smile. I hope they are doing well, and I tell myself that I need to read their blogs.

But I don't read, and they don't read either.

Nothing I think of seems important. Nothing seems funny. No one really wants to hear about my mundane life of work and kids. I've become a very private person, somewhat against my nature, and so it's easy to excuse not writing.

And I don't write.

Even if I write something witty right now, it won't be read. I had started a second blog last year so that I could anonymously be more personal (ironic, I realize). This "self-discovery" blog has become every bit as barren and desolate as that second one.

*chirp, chirp* the crickets break the silence.

*whooosh* the desert breeze blows sagebrush across my blog.

I need more optimism.


DFB said...

Oh. Sorry, La. I still come by and read. You're just not here very much.

** hug **

Aerin said...

Hey La! I still read! I like hearing what you have to say. And you haven't gone behind the "only invited readers" yet.

A good friend of mine used to say - do what you gotta do. If you stopped blogging, I'd miss you though.

Rebecca said...

I, too, still read - but I subscribe to your RSS feed so I only visit when you actually POST. I'm just sayin'...

Email me and tell me what's going on. I have some super lame and not-at-all-important smallish news.

MattMan said...

I'm also an RSS subscriber, so I only visit for new posts.

For personal life circumstances reasons, I had to take my blog down back in February, during a crisis when I really needed more support and contact, not less. But alas, I've been doing what I had to do. Not having an outlet that my blog provided has been pretty difficult, but the circumstances will be changing over the next few months, so I'm looking forward to opening my blog back up.

I only mention that just as a case in point that considering what you've gone through in the past year, I don't think you're justified in being hard on yourself. Transition takes time. I for one, would love to see more personal blog posts from you, telling your stories, hardships, happy moments, etc; but totally understand that under certain circumstances, you simply don't feel like it.

This too shall pass. :)

C. L. Hanson said...

I'm still reading your blog too, through the RSS feed. Don't feel pressured to post constantly -- it's okay to post now and then to make a connection... :D

La said...

Thank you all for nice words! It's good to "see" you again!

Sideon said...

Humble opinion here, but RSS is a pain in the ass. I much prefer to visit sites themselves, regardless of new posts. I may pop in for a moment or read quite a bit, but that's my personal style of reading. I'm glad RSS works for others, though. Just doesn't do much for me.

Patience. Write anyway. And yeah, the second anonymous blog thing? I've thought about that route, but then I realize that I don't need/want any anonymity - I unzip and haul it out there, ya know?

Hugs and happy Friday, LA.