All these phrases keep flashing in my head these days. Take the title of my blog post, for instance, which is the name of a song . Another one:
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love, and be loved in return." -Moulin Rouge
"You have to figure out what really, truly makes you happy and chase it......Chase it your whole life." -my friend Laura
I have a lot of growing yet to do in life. This past year has been one of HUGE changes and experiences which I never expected. I'm still trying to discover who I am. Will I ever get there? Does anyone ever know who they are? Who am I? Well, let's see what I think, and what I've learned.
* First, I'm the youngest of six children, and I was raised as a Mormon.
* I enjoyed school and was pretty smart, but decided to slack in high school.
* I love to laugh.
* I am often stubborn.
* I like to watch and play sports, but I'm not very active in general.
* I had way too many sexual experiences, way too young in life. Because of this, I've recently discovered that sex is sort of a control thing for me. I have come to realize that it's possible for me to reliquish control, but when I do I feel very vulnerable.
* I hate to feel vulnerable, but that doesn't mean I won't let myself do it.
* I am capable of hurting someone deliberately
* I don't hold on to things. I like to confront things head on, and when I get resolution, it's gone. Vanished. I let things go. I don't hold grudges. It's not very often that I internalize things.
* I believe that we're all intertwined as human beings. I believe in energy, positive and negative. And with that, I believe in some form of karma.
* My greatest desire in life is to be with someone I'm crazy about, and have them be crazy about me at the same time. It always has been my greatest desire.
I'm sure I know other things about myself, but I can't think of any more right now. I'm trying to find reasons for my behavior, reasons for my reactions, in an effort to correct things that don't bring me happiness. Either correct them, or learn to accept them.