Something happened to me last night which hasn't happened in well over a year.
I was getting ready for bed, thinking about the day, thinking about life. I thought about how a friend of ours is going out of town for the weekend, and before I knew it, this thought popped into my head: "Please, God, bless ____ to have a safe flight, and find peace in his life."
I didn't always say my prayers at night. I didn't like kneeling beside the bed, and I didn't like such a physical display of humility. *insert judgement here* But what I did do, however, was keep constant prayers in my head. I would "converse" with God in my head all the time. The idea of there existing someone who could read my mind, know my thoughts, always bugged me. But I would tuck away that negativity and I learned to embrace the God In My Brain.
After I lost my belief in the truth of the LDS church, I applied the same questions to my belief in Jesus and God themselves. I couldn't prove their existence or divinity, which is the only way I would believe. At this point I'd need God himself to descend his throne and show me exactly how that immaculate conception worked. (heehee, I'm so dramatic!)
And now we've reached the Point of this post: It was easy for me to get that god out of my brain. I stopped attributing my OWN thoughts to him. I've learned that any conversations were with myself. So, last night, I threw myself for a loop when I realized what I was saying. It was foreign and strange to me. I had to shake my head and say, "Huh??"
I'm not worried about it though. The energy behind prayer is valid, and I do wish my friend peace. It was just a moment of weirdness, and the best thing to do about those is to blog about them! :) Happy Thursday, friends!
9 comments:
Do you know why I know that you are talking to God? Because I didn't even TELL you that I was leaving town on an airplane tonight. Yet, somehow you knew. I'm thinking that GOD told you through private revelation or some nonsense. Anyway, thanks for the prayer, but I'll put my faith in the pilot, mechanics and air traffic control personnel.
.. and the flight attendants, insofar as I need a drink.
La, I had a similar experience last week. That gut feeling to call on a superior being that can somehow influence things that we don't have any control over is still in me. Most of it is gone, but sometimes when I feel helpless it comes on strong. Somehow life is just better when you learn to deal with actual situations and accept that there is nothing you or any other being can do to change anything.
I still do the prayer sort of thing once in a while. I think of it more as a meditative mantra that makes me feel better. And FYI, the immaculate conception refers to the conception of Mary, not the conception of Jesus. Just in case you didn't know that.
I have always said my prayers while lying in bed, and sometimes I can't sleep if I haven't prayed. Superstitiously motivated.
I don't believe in prayer. If there is a God out there, he/she doesn't answer prayers. If he/she does, it is done inequitably and in that case to hell with them.
I like Eric's stance...pray to yourself if you want an answer.
ztctx - nasal sneeze (or German for Splenda)
You want to pray? That's cool. No. really.
Just because Smith was a liar does not mean spiritual exploration is not a valid option.
Specifically, Matt, I don't want to pray. But I do believe in energy and the Law of Karma. I put focused thoughts out there (as in the way many people do with prayer) and the Universe addresses them.
I'm so getting teased by my brothers for just having said that...Ay caramba...
I find myself wanting to say little prayers like that, like I need a little sense of power over things I have no power over.
While I was in Alanon a lady told all of us not to pray for her, as she figuired it was the same as casting spell. As I thought about it I came to realize that she was right.
So if you feel uncomfortable with the word "prayer" you call it something else. But a rose is a rose is a rose... It all works the same.
Certainly most people would be offened and confused if you said you would cast a spell for them...
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