I live in the Morridor. Wasatch Front. Mormon Centrale. I was born and raised here, only leaving for a 7 year stint in North Carolina.
I was born in Provo, raised in Orem and Alpine. I did the whole church thing. I got my patriarchal blessing at 14. I was addicted to doing baptisms for the dead in the Jordan River Temple. I couldn't wait for my mission (or marriage, in the unlikely event that it came instead of a mission), when I could go forth into the temple. I didn't like just heading straight downstairs. I wanted the MEAT.
There's a lot more to my life, of course, but suffice it to say that denouncing the Gospel of Jesus Christ (LDS gospel, of course) was nowhere in my "life goals". 5 years ago I would never have believed it if you told me that not only would I stop believing, but I'd be insistent to take my name off the records. Crazy talk...
So here it is, 2006, and I got my letter on Tuesday, saying that it's an "ecclesiastical matter", yada yada yada. I'm out. Legally, I have no ties to the church anymore. So how do I continue to live here in this breeding ground for Mormons?
My first inclination is to be true to myself. Have unfailing integrity. Get involved with community. Get involved with my children's school. In essence, live my life. Have fun, laugh, enjoy my family and friends. Be a sublimely decent human being.
I have a fear, however. I have a fear that my children will be shunned. Kids suck! They'll find anything that could be a sore spot, and they'll exploit it. I pray (which I don't, but I do sincerely hope) that my kids will have strong convictions. They are sweet, and they'll be liked. But this valley is NASTY when it comes to apostates. We'll just have to see how it goes.
Thanks for hearing my rant today.
3 comments:
I imagine things will get better there. You guys have apostate friends in town, right?
The funny thing is that I only lived in Utah for three years -- and that was thirteen years ago -- yet through the magic of the Internet I know tons of apostates in your area... :D
Well, we're trying to make new friends, and my sister is apostate. We are very lucky that we have a loving and supportive extended family, unlike a lot of situations we hear about...
You know, I used to worry about that too. Then an exmo friend pointed out to me that at least half the group we ran with as kids weren't LDS anyhow.
Certainly there will be jerks, but I think that you'd find them in or out. Good luck!
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