Questions / thoughts for anonymous:

When was the last time I spoke about the church? Oh, wait. It was on April 04, 2007, and mostly I just said that I was raised Mormon. The post you were referring to about "I walk by faith..." was written in March of 2006. So that leads me to my next question:

How do I "speak so much about the church it's like you're obsessed"? What you are referring to, I believe, has to be taken in context. I was in the church for 28 years, and then found out that the teachings aren't true. So, yeah, I had to vent some issues and frustrations to let that part of my life go. But you were reading blogs from that time of my life. I have let it go now. I don't obsess anymore. I rarely talk about Mormons anymore.

"you know in your heart that the gospel is true and that you are not living your life the way that you should". No it's not, and yes I am. I'm living my life exactly the way I should be living it. I'm growing, I'm progressing, I'm working on my faults, I'm a decent person, I'm a mother who loves her children (and gets very frustrated with them), and I'm intent on justice and balance and living the golden rule.

"Did you ever pray to know if the chruch was true?" Countless times.

"but I do feel sad for this time in your life, you are experiencing a trial and I hope that you find your way past it, you seem like a bright and beautiful woman with a lot of love and a lot to offer". I AM experiencing trials and rough times in my life. None of them have to do with my leaving the Mormons though. Thank you for the compliment, and I am flattered you recognized that.

I did have to mourn for the Gospel because I believed it so strongly. But I have bounced back and I have new spirituality that brings me peace and joy. I have not sought another religion, nor do I intend to. I love my past and my experiences from my Mormon days, and I DO sing primary songs to my kids still. I just don't sing ones that refer to prophets or Jesus Christ.

Thanks for your comment, and I'm glad you found your way to my blog. :)

An anonymous comment I just received on an older post:

Hi, it's Sunday morning and I'm Mormon and I stumbled upon your blog because as I was preparing for my sacrement talk and my RS lesson which I agreed to do on the same day because I was asked, I was feeling the spirit so strong that I just starting singing and the song that I started singing was "I walk by Faith, a daughter of Heavenly parents" well I couldn't remember the entire song so I typed those first few words into google and you had cited those words in your blog so it came up in my search. I read a few of your entries and I have this to say about you, first of all, you speak so much about the church it's like you're obsessed, if I had a blog I don't think that refereces to the church would find their way into every paragraph and I go to church every week, I think your obssession is because you are trying to cut your ties with the church but in fact part of you thinks back to the great experiences you had and the times that you felt the spirit and you know in your heart that the gospel is true and that you are not living your life the way that you should and part of you wants your infant to grow up surrounded by the love and the clearity and the truth of the gospel the way that you did, and you haven't gone inactive because you're just lazy because you are already searching for a new church, you're searching when you already know the truth. Did you ever pray to know if the chruch was true? Have you received your testimony? If not, don't you think that you owe it to yourself and your family to do so? Reading your blog did not completely take away the feelings of the spirit that I was experiencing when I was singing hymns and coming to look up the lyrics, but I do feel sad for this time in your life, you are experiencing a trial and I hope that you find your way past it, you seem like a bright and beautiful woman with a lot of love and a lot to offer, I probably have had an easier life than you so I'm not judging, I'm just saying that it sounds to me like you are mourning for the gospel, like you need it, like you feel a void, so just come back, if you don't like the structure of the church and can't handle that right now, at least do some personal worship and searching, read the scriptures and pray, invite the spirit into your heart and your life, sing your favorite primary songs to your child, share the spirit with your child. You are a daughter of God and he loves you, good luck with your journey.

I should be watching The Office, but instead...

I'm so jealous that Sideon and SML got to meet!! Seriously, I'm festering. There are few people on the planet who can bring out the boiling passion in me like Sideon can. :)

Guys, I'm sick of my life. I'm sick at the fact that some friendships are gone and I don't blog anymore. I'm sick that I never feel like seeing anyone because I'm positive that either they will judge me or they will be weird because of drastic changes in my life.

What can I do?

Tah, tah, tah Tuesday

It seems lately that I've heard about many marijuana busts in our lovely Deseret. What's lame is that they release the footage to the media (or invite the media to come along), and make a big show of it. Meanwhile, meth is almost as big of an "industry" here, and we rarely learn about meth busts. I don't know if I've ever spoken out in favor of pot-smoking, but I certainly think pot is significantly less dangerous to society and safety than meth is.

K that's my rant for today. Today was kind of crappy at work. It makes me wonder why Tuesday is the day for crap. I mean, is everyone just so pissed off after Monday? I don't get it. It was actually a good day for me, but everyone I talked with seemed to be having troubles.

Dang, there was another rant. Positive, think positive. Two (2) songs that make me happy:

Daft Punk "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger"
Cake "When You Sleep"

Resulted happiness results in a tickling of the children. Good times!