La's Self-Discovery Blog

Bombarded

2009-07-25T23:29:00.004-06:00

Being a liberal in Utah County is like being white in the Mexican supermarket on State Street, I imagine. It's like people know liberals exist, they've heard of liberals before, but it's so rare that they come out in the open that conservatives are actually surprised when they find out someone is liberal. "Someone disagrees with me? What? Lunacy."

I hear the regurgitations of Bill O'Reilly too often. Sean Hannity is a Saint around here. And what's-his-face, the guy who sobs all the time, oh yeah Glenn Beck. That guy's name sends chills up my spine.

Not that I'm confrontational, mind you. But if I hear someone say something ridiculous (mostly about homosexuals or "marriage") then I'll speak up with some sarcastic comeback. I don't bite my tongue, but I'm certainly not on the lookout for a fight.

Why has fighting always found me? Hmm...something for me to ponder on.

So, yes, the fight always seems to find me. It must be a nice thing to be able to be so open about political beliefs. Most people get nods of agreement and a pat on the back for the ideas they vocalize. But me? Liberal me (moderately liberal, by the way)? If I say something that I believe, I get jumped on. Whatever.

I'm getting sick of living here. *sigh*

Remember that one time?

2009-12-01T17:17:00.007-07:00

So long, long ago I posted a blog entry where I announced that I had officially received my "you're no longer a momo" letter (the post is called Finding a daily LIFE). At that point in my exit from the church I was concerned mostly for my children, especially since they are growing up here in Utah County. I felt like other kids might be mean, or might shun them.

So. Here it is, almost 4 years since that post. My first-born is now 10 and in the 4th grade, and my baby is 5 and taller than all the other preschoolers. How is their life here in Ut. Co., you ask? Well.

I would say that for the most part, not being LDS hasn't directly affected them too harshly. L has friends that she plays with at school, and B fights with the other boys at preschool. I do have a concern though, and I mostly blame the COMMUNITY of Mormons for it, rather than the church itself:

Every day I hear kids outside playing and laughing and having a great time. L knows some of them from school, but none of them come over to ask her to play. During the summer all the kids (mine, plus my "step"-children) would participate in Night Games, but only if one of them got the courage to go up to the neighborhood kids and ask if they could play. Now I realize that part of the distance between the neighborhood kids and my kids could have something to do with the fact that my kids aren't here at our house all the time - they get carted back and forth between here and their dad's house. But they are here about half the time, and those kids go to school with my daughter, for crying out loud.

I have seriously contemplated taking my kids to church again, just so they can be more accepted by the neighborhood kids. I am pretty sure this is a church-related issue, because even the parents of the neighborhood kids make very little effort to be friendly (no wave of the hand from them!) towards me. They speak with Lee some, but mostly regarding church issues (his 15 yr old son does participate in church).

*sigh* Is it really worth going back to church just to have a little acceptance? Or do I need to once again peruse the exmo community for children of like-minded parents? I just don't know what to do, but it sure does bite when neither of my neighbors will say Hi to me, let alone wave. I assume it affects my children less than it does me, since they don't really know what they're missing.

I miss the community and camaraderie of being LDS. It seems that you have to BE one to get that perk, though. Whatever.

Nothing but WET

2009-09-17T12:22:00.008-06:00

Someone had a great idea. Someone figured out that certain keywords draw consumers to purchase. This notion changed the world of marketing. "Natural", "Organic", "Pure"; these are some of the words we get bombarded with each day.

The chemical compound which consists of two hydrogen molecules and one oxygen molecule is probably the best example of what marketing can do for a product:

We are inundated with selection when we want a simple, refreshing drink of water. With merely a label we can be transported up to glacial heights or whisked away to a tropical paradise. Such a fantastical trip at such an unreasonable price tag, and sadly the reality is that we're pretty much having a drink of water. Water. WATER!

Well, I have an idea too. If we're going to monopolize on something as commonplace as water, then lets do it right. How about we give people what they REALLY want?! Now introducing, for the first time ever (that's right, you heard it here folks):

Doctors don't know EVERYthing

2006-07-18T23:09:00.002-06:00

It had been a relatively slow day. There had been nothing critical, nothing that could really be considered truly emergent: some abdominal pains, a superficial leg laceration, and several flu cases. Sometimes days like that were more difficult, because the mind tends to wander, and it’s much harder to bring focus onto the patient.

I was new to the area, having moved from the East Coast only a couple months prior. That the culture was unique and peculiar was common knowledge. Order a cup of coffee, and you get looks as if you just asked for absinthe, assuming the server even knows what absinthe is! But for the most part it was easily ignorable, and frankly, having Sundays be so slow and easy-going was very attractive. Especially having such a high-paced job in the emergency room.

The mountains were stunning, tall, snow-capped, and seemed to loom over the valley. On clear days the mountains were pristine, cutting across the deep blue sky. The brilliance of white against green-brown, blue against white was breath taking. Putting the quirkiness of the people aside, this really was a very lovely place to call home. But it was hard to put the quirkiness of the people aside.

A particular patient, on this particular slow day, made the quirkiness case in point quite nicely. The door of Room 7 was heavy as I pushed it against what I quickly learned was a thick fog of self-importance.

“Hi, I’m Dr. Brinley," I broke the ice. We’re seeing you today for a hand injury, right?”

It was puzzling that almost immediately he looked at me with annoyance.

“Yes, and you’re going to have to contact the orthopedic surgeon right away”, he stated, his voice bringing to mind my father.

Oh great, he's that kind of patient: the know-it-all kind. Joy. The thought appeared, and I couldn’t tuck it back down.

“Well I’d like to have a look at it first, just to assess the damage.”

Getting a bit obstinate, he declared, “It’s going to need a cast! You really should just call the surgeon.”

“I’m a doctor too, and I’d like to be able to explain to Ortho, when or if I contact them, what exactly the problem is.” At this point the term pompous far understated the stern look he had on his face.

“Don’t you know who I am? I’m a general authority!”

“Oh? On what?” History? Economics? And why does this pertain to anything we are talking about??

Visibly fuming, he clarified: “I’m a General Authority of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints!”

“Ok, uhm, yeah…”, my voice trailed off. Escape couldn’t come fast enough! Jamie, the nursing team leader for that shift, proceeded to explain Mormon hierarchy, and why this person would be offended at my lack of respect for who and what he is.

Never returning to that room, rumor has it that he was indeed seen by the orthopedic surgeon, because at the next “General Conference” (whatever that is) he was on TV with a cast. He had apparently been right about the emergency of his injury. His yelling was entirely justified. My bad.

Ah, the Glory Days

2009-08-13T17:18:00.003-06:00

Two days ago I got to hang out with 2 colleagues that I don't work with day-to-day, but only indirectly, as in that they work for us freelance. We sat on my back patio, on a cool afternoon, casually getting to know each other better. We talked of leaving the LDS church, and shared our individual stories (something I don't get to do much anymore).

Why do I bring this up? Well. A while back I used to write. A lot. Perhaps not a LOT, but you get the gist. I just read an old blog post of mine, and I thought, "This shouldn't be sitting in the dust. I'm proud of this. This post should be revisited."

So here I am, selling out, but loving to be able to post a link from an old "finding la" post. Good times.

http://findingla.blogspot.com/2006/07/instead-of-posting-comment-i-take-my.html

Why did the Mayo Clinic remove their success story that is Shona Holmes??

2009-07-23T11:30:00.002-06:00

I'm into universal health care. So I've been reading up on the Candian who had to come to the US to get the treatment she "needed". I've seen this link in MANY places:

http://www.mayoclinic.org/patientstories/story-339.html

It's the Mayo Clinic's story of Shona Holmes. But sadly, I cannot view their story because it's been removed. Why? Over-traffic is my guess. Huh.

Turning a New Leaf

2009-05-29T19:11:00.011-06:00

So one of my life challenges is that I was never able to grow a clematis plant. I have probably killed 3 or 4 innocent clematis' (clematii?) in my life, something for which I feel great shame. It turns out, all I needed was the right place for them to thrive, and give them a little bit of love.

I planted 2 different varieties last year. The both did really well and I was optimistic that I might not kill them this time. I tended them very carefully, and encouraged them to climb the trellises behind them. The plant on the left has light purple flowers, and likes to climb. The plant on the right has dark purple flowers, and is more bushy, which means it hasn't grown vertically very much.

One day I was trimming the overgrown grass around the plants with a Weed Eater. I'm not very deft with dangerous tools, so it comes as no surprise that I weed whacked the left plant on accident. I was heart broken! I rushed inside the house to find some sort of tape to see if I could "graft" the stem back together. Over the course of the summer, sadly, the left plant withered and died. Oh, the bitter sorrow.

A few weeks ago I peaked my bleary eyes through the haze of winter, and into one of the warm spring days we had this year. In other words, I went outside to examine the yard. You can imagine my surprise when I saw the left plant, not only alive, but THRIVING. It's amazing.

Today when I went outside I was thrilled to see the plant had grown taller than the fence! I don't know how it happened. I had given up all hope. But it is true, the plant has risen from the grave. Here, now, are the pictures to prove it. I hope you appreciate even a fraction of how incredible this was for me! :)

The left plant, today.

The right plant, still going strong.

A close-up of right plant's new flowers.

My New Fave

2009-05-12T19:15:00.001-06:00

Like a Sunshower by Journey

Girl, tell me what's wrong
Are those tears in your eyes
What's going on between us
I'm ready to listen
I don't care if it takes all night

We both said something we didn't mean
We lost our heads
Now I can't sleep
'Til you talk to me

We find the sun through the rain
Caught in a sunshower
We'll be all right, no one's to blame
After the storm, we'll shine
So rare you and me disagree
Love's like a sunshower

When you meet me, babe
Somewhere halfway, yeah

It's been way too long
Since we shared what's in our hearts
Let's say this charade is over
Ooh, we can't take for granted
How far we've come
Let's not lose each other

I know you care, 'cause you stand your ground
When we talked enough
I wanna make up
Wanna make love

We find the sun through the rain
Caught in a sunshower
We'll be alright
No one's to blame
After the storm, we'll shine
So rare you and me disagree
Love's like a sunshower

Baby, babe
Somewhere we'll find
We won't regret
We won't forget
Rainbows wait for you and me
Girl, we're caught in a sunshower

When we've talked enough
Can we make up
Can we make love, ooh
Yeah

On the down-slope of hump day

2009-02-25T20:43:00.003-07:00

Do you ever have one of those days where you wonder if you can't take one more thing? Where the only viable option seems to crawl into bed and pull the covers over your head? Well. I am at the point in my day, the time is finally here, where I can actually do just that. Oh, sweet flannel, envelope me.

I need to think of something interesting to say, dangit.

Unexpected Funny

2009-02-10T21:51:00.005-07:00

They lost me at "you'll know tonight".

Never-Ending Poop-Fest

2009-02-04T12:52:00.009-07:00

This thing just keeps getting bigger (that's what she said!). I called Cottonwood Heights Police Department a while ago to see which detective was assigned to our case. The woman informed me that "it's only Wednesday", and by that I guess she meant we don't have a detective yet. She said it takes a while for them to review and assign the cases, and that they "have tons of them" to go through.

We have photos of the suspects that were provided to us by Lee's bank. While we were still in the funeral, they wrote a check using Lee's checkbook (yeah, we didn't realize until Monday that it too got taken), and another one using my checkbook. In one transaction, the culprit got away with $1850.00 from the two of us. Fortunately, the bank returned the money to Lee, and my bank never did debit the money from my account. It's really too bad there's no one actually investigating this yet.

We have a face to put with the crime. Even so, we're still not secure. I'm taking further precaution and putting a security freeze on my credit. Both of us have closed our bank accounts and opened new ones.

general area of where the crime took place

specific area of where the crime took place

Here's something new:

2009-02-02T19:29:00.003-07:00

I've never liked my profile. Like, my literal profile. Long nose (Merrick Williams used to call me "parrot nose" and "Julian Lennon"), double chin, weak jawline... *sigh*

But hey, guess what? Today I found a pic of my profile on Lee's iPhone, and I didn't hate it. It wasn't that bad. That has NEVER happened to me before.

I'd post a picture, but I didn't like it that much. ;)

Where is the humanity?

2009-01-31T19:57:00.013-07:00

Today we went to the double-funeral of Lee's aunt Lillie and uncle Gordon. It was a touching story of how they died, just a day apart. After 62 years of marriage, they slipped the surly bonds of this earth within hours of each other. Gordon had been a pilot in the Air Force, then became a lawyer in California. His law partner was Howard W. Hunter (a fact I'd read about in HWH's biography years ago, and just today learned that it was Lee's uncle), and he was very successful. Lillie loved music and art and literature. They were clearly devoted and deeply in love, and I wish I'd gotten the chance to get to know them.

When we left the funeral to go to the cemetery for interment, Lee noticed glass all over the ground next to the driver side of his van. It was very quickly that we understood that someone had broken his window and taken my purse.

Crap. Complete crap. What kind of person knowingly violates someone who is at a funeral? "Hi. I know you are probably grieving but I could care less. Purse, please." It's sick.

The driver side window had been completely knocked out.

Feels like walkin' on broken glass

So we got to drive from south Salt Lake valley back to Orem with the window gone. In January. It was cold. Lee's brother Craig bore the brunt of the bitter cold wind in the back seat. For head warmth, he donned a pair of my boxers that I happened to have in the car.

Lee's left side was chilly, being next to the rushing wind and all. He was hesitant when I offered my slipper for relief, but once he tried it he stopped caring. It worked!

What a challenging day. Things could definitely be worse, though, and I'm grateful there wasn't anyone hurt or worse damage. I've had to cancel my credit cards and file a fraud alert with the credit bureaus, but that's the worst of it. We'll see how things turn out. As for the dicks that broke into the car, they can F themselves. Bastards.

My Homework Assignment

2009-01-20T16:20:00.008-07:00

Last year in April, I was at my niece and nephew's baptism, and at the end their bishop challenged everyone to go home and write about the feelings they felt during the service (meeting? who knows the lingo anymore...). It was a baptism of 4 children, my niece and nephew (twins), and two other kids in their ward that were unrelated to each other.

So...I'm doing my homework:

My first feeling during the service was trepidation. Lee and I took my unbaptized 8 yr. old daughter with us, and I was worried that I'd hear endless whining from her about wanting to be just like the other kids. But that never happened! I've told her that when she's 18 she can study all about it and decide if it's something that she wants for herself. The trepidation turned into relief when I never heard anything from her about wanting to be baptized.

Then I felt a bit of nausea (but technically that's a sensation, not a feeling), when one of the other kids' grandmother spoke from the pulpit. She commented about when Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery were "thick in the translation of the Book of Mormon" and working on 3 Nephi 11. This is a place in the scripture that talks about baptism 40+ times. She related how she "knows in her heart that Joseph and Oliver looked up at each other and realized that they too needed to be baptized". I think the underlying feeling behind my nausea was utter confusion at the words she used. I'd like to reword her thoughts in my own words, just to make it less confusing. Enjoy:

A long time ago, in a setting where no witnesses were present, and no third party documentation was taking place, legend says that Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery may have had a discussion when they were allegedly depicting certain characters off ancient hand-made plates of gold, and they called the certain characters 3 Nephi chapter 11. Some people feel that an unseen all-powerful being gave them a strange tool to depict the foreign characters, though certainly this cannot be proved since we do not have any evidence of its existence. At that time, in that chapter, apparently the tool was depicting the word "baptism" a lot.

One might assume that the excessive usage of the word "baptism" was the reason for the alleged discussion between the two men about their own baptisms.

*******

It's almost been a year since then. Now my daughter is 9 years old. This past Sunday we went to another church meeting, because Lee's new granddaughter was getting "A Name & A Blessing" (which is kind of similar to a christening in other religions). It's such a different experience to sit in a congregation among Mormons, not believing anything that they say. Different from how I used to be, that is. This time I tried to take something away from the meeting, but there wasn't much for me to pull from. Everything was "pay tithing", "listen to the spirit (even when you're not sure why)", and some scripture references from the book of Paul. I wanted something more, something like "Do unto others what you'd have others do unto you", or something else edifying beyond religion.

We left that meeting and apparently my daughter wants to get baptized. Here we go! She's got 9 years left under her parent's rules, and our rule is "Not before you're 18". We'll see what happens I guess...

Starting Out Right (or... SOR)

2009-01-08T08:11:00.006-07:00

I've got to get healthy. Yesterday I envisioned myself being with other people, in a bikini, and feeling completely comfortable. What a rush! What would that really be like?!? I want to find out.

My current goals:

1) eat more nutritious food, and less crap. On that note, this morning I brought vanilla yogurt, granola and a sliced-up banana for breakfast. It should've been delicious, but the yogurt made it sort of sour. Plus my tummy doesn't do that well with milk products anymore, so I started to feel yucky. What a disappointment!!

2) significantly increase my activity level. I've decided that, until I purchase the Wii Fit, I'll play Wii Boxing every day because I usually work up a good sweat playing that game. Plus, that will develop the habit of using the Wii every day, which I'll need in order to make the Wii Fit work best for me. I'd like to start walking, but it's f-ing cold outside and I don't want to pay to use an indoor track somewhere. So walking will start in a couple months.

3) find some purpose in life. Right now I can settle for blogging. But eventually it will be something more useful, such as building school houses in Costa Rica. Mostly I want to go to Costa Rica to see my friends' awesome house that they're building there. But, in all seriousness, I do want to leave an impact on this world before I have to leave it!

Okay so those are the 3 things that I'm going to keep repeating over and over in my brain.

New Year, New Day, New Blog Post

2009-01-07T15:19:00.002-07:00

Finally! I decided to try to start blogging again. I miss it. Who cares if no one reads? It's a good way for me to sort through my thoughts, and also to keep a more accurate timeline of what's happening in my life. So... *deep breath* ...Begin.

Ramble, ramble...

2007-04-06T08:23:00.000-06:00

I just have a few minutes until I have to go into work. My other work. That's right, I'm now the proud owner of two (2) part-time jobs. The scheduling with who's watching my son has been a beast, but so far it's worked out fairly well.

I have a cat named Boo and he's freakin awesome. He's big and strong, but he's a lover boy. He's certainly mellowed out in this past year, but he still eats food off the counter (which is why the bread is now stored in the cabinet). Just a minute ago he was sitting on the table staring out the window. Why does a cat stare so intently? And why don't his eyes dry out, thereby requiring a blink? All valid questions.

Cats are pretty cool. They're like a total mystery. And they just don't give a shit about anyone.

Around and about

2007-06-17T22:32:00.000-06:00

This past week I was in Paso Robles CA, visiting the family of my boyfriend. I had my kids with me, and despite long hours in the car and proximity sickness (aka too much time together) the trip was a resounding success.

We went to the coast and toured through Hearst Castle, a hilltop paradise built by newspaper tycoon William Randolph Hearst in the early 20th century. I have 2 favorite parts of the estate that I want to mention.

First: the Neptune Pool (outdoor). It makes me crazy with wanting to jump in the water. Behold. (I apologize for the bad lighting. I wanted to increase the brightness so my daughter could be seen better.)

The second thing is a statue in the front entry of the main house that I WANT. I loved it. We couldn't get close because there is a tile mosaic on the floor and they don't want the masses tromping upon it. Enjoy.

Anyone who may have an idea as to the name or artist of this statue would be my BFF.

Softball

2007-08-24T13:33:00.001-06:00

Why can't I post pictures? I want to show pictures of me playing softball (well, me in the softball game, mostly). Aha!! It worked! This first pic is me going up to bat, confident as hell.

Haha, I'm glad that's not my butt (the catcher).

This next one is of me having just hit the ball (a line drive over the 3rd baseman's head, yes indeed).
Haha, I wish that wasn't my butt (the awesome batter).

So as you can see, my Thursday nights are full of fun and excitement and bug bites. :)

Capitol Reef

2007-08-27T12:53:00.000-06:00

Here are a couple pictures of my kids at Capitol Reef a few weekends ago. Utah is pretty spectacular!

My daughter at Goosenecks Point. I love how she's posing.

My son, who was scared to death to get near the edges. YAY!!

I really love the landscape and the birds and the clean air and the afternoon thunder storms. The town of Torrey is just adorable, with it's tree-lined streets and quaint little burger joint. There's an art gallery, an old catholic church, and a candy shop. It's a magical place, and it's somewhere that I would love to have a cabin or timeshare.

Here we go Rockies, Here we go...!!

2007-10-24T10:12:00.000-06:00

World Series, game one in Boston today. I'm already excited. I'm eating my sunflower seeds and imagining what a great series it is going to be.

I like the Colorado Rockies. First of all, they're pretty close in proximity to me. Second of all, I remember when their team was started, around the same time that Denver International Airport was opened.

I was mad when they beat the Padres with the run in from Matt Holliday. He didn't even touch home plate!! There was an overhead camera angle that showed it pretty clearly. But I forgave him. He has been playing so well, he makes it look easy.

I'm also excited for Todd Helton (first base) because he has been in the majors for a long time, yet hadn't been in the playoffs until this season.

The Rockies are young, fresh and excited. Boston is a good team (wow, how they came back to beat the Indians! NICE!), but they're arrogant. They get careless and have to work hard to make up for it.

This is going to be a GREAT series! The Rockies have won 21 of their past 22 games. They swept the Padres, the Phillies, and the Diamondbacks in the post season. It's been an incredible run for them.

MY HOPES ARE HIGH!!! GO ROX!!

What to do when you're bored...

2008-01-13T09:55:00.000-07:00

My family has a hard time not mocking people. And things. And well, pretty much anything.

After a delicious lunch at Fuddrucker's on Saturday (best. burger. ever.), we thought shopping at Ross would be a good idea. While I really like that store and get major euphoria when I find a great deal there, the styles of clothes they sell are gradually slipping south. (Ha! I remember when we took Lee's kids shopping for clothes there once, and his 17 yr. old daugher grumbled, "Everything in this place looks Mexican." So, "south" pun kind of intended.)

I like to call these The Scribble Pants

Alternate view of The Scribble Pants , plus Dave's thumb of approval

It's fun to get your 12 yr. old nephew to try on clothing that he'd make fun of if he saw someone actually wearing it.

These pants rock so hard that they slow down time when you wear them! Don't believe me? Proof is in the pictures, people.

We mocked clothing in public, my son had a ripe, poopy diaper, I was wearing shorts on a cold winter day. What? We don't want attention...much.

The reason why I can't quit my job. EVER.

2008-01-22T13:00:00.000-07:00

The system at work just went down, so what better use of my time is there than to BLOG??

I moved desks at work. It's a perk. It's kind of perky. Perkish. I enjoy not staring at a wall anymore. There are too many walls in my life at the time being, so it's a refreshing change to have a nice vantage point of the office. I wasn't too sure about it, until the first day, mid-afternoon, when I beheld this on my white board:

Our new building has a lot of windows. When I saw this prism right here beside me, I knew I loved my new desk. Take note of this awesome picture that has a heart-shaped reflection on the white board. Kismet! Serenity? Karma? DESTINY! :)

Bob Loblaw Law Blog

2008-05-04T21:13:00.003-06:00

A couple of months ago Lee and I went to Phoenix AZ, to catch a couple of Oakland A's spring training games. We went to a porn shop while we were there, and we found a board game that made me think of my sister-in-law, Mandoo. Here's a pic of the game:

Un-Uh! No, He Di'int!

It would be difficult to explain why this reminds me of Mandoo, but check out that title, huh? How related to the title are the women in the picture? Somewhat related, is the answer.

Happy Mother's Day!

2008-05-11T08:44:00.009-06:00

What better time is there to blog? It's early in the morning and I can hear hustle and bustle downstairs in the kitchen. I'm under strict orders to not leave the bed. Whatever can be happening? ;)

I have some pictures that crack me up, so I think I'll post them. My 3 yr. old son has been prone to falling asleep lately, wherever he might be at the time.

At the top of the stairs, outside the bedroom...

Dinnertime at Winger's...

Isn't that fun? You just never know when you might open a door and find him at your feet, out cold.

He's also done very well at his potty-training lately (snaps to his dad!). He can't differentiate between the words "pee-pee" and "poopie". I laugh every time he approaches me, visibly excited, and says, "Mommy! I just went brown stuff!" What can I say? Maybe he'll be a color-freak, like I am.

Sometimes I worry that his big sister is his best friend. I know that it's really a good thing and that they'll be close when they're grown-ups. So usually my worries don't run too deep. But then I see something like this:

Playing dress-up!

Oh well, kids will be kids. They sure look pretty, don't they? :)