What to do when your day sucks and you feel like you're going crazy, but really you're not, so settle down, sheesh!:

• Sit in a hot car. (Hot as in temperature, not as in stunningly good looks. The proper car in this scenario does not have stunningly good looks. And it sounds like a Jalopy.)
• Deal with two (2) crying and/or cranky children
• Use a hard gas station napkin to get the sticky off your hands, after spilling blue Icee on them.
• Decide whether to drive on the road with construction and low speed limits, or on the road with bigger construction and (only technically) higher speed limits.
• Blog about lame things instead of relaxing with a cold beverage.

So my day was kind of lame today. Work stuff, you know. Tomorrow will be a better day!

Heavy Petting

Remember when you got the YM/YW pamphlet that said you shouldn't participate in "heavy petting"? Hearing that phrase makes me laugh my guts out. Heavy Petting. It's kind of ambiguous, so I decided to look it up on dictionary.com. Here's what I learned:

v. pet·ted, pet·ting, pets v. tr. To stroke or caress gently; pat. v. intr. Informal To make love by fondling and caressing.

To make love?!? Holy crap! So what the hell does HEAVY petting insinuate? Ramming? If merely petting crosses the chastity line, I think a more direct way of saying it would be "Thou Shalt Only Engage in Petting With Thine Spouse; and, If Married, Only Heavily Pet if Both Participants are Down With That Kind of Thing".

By the way, I'm actively rewriting the 10 commandments, loosely based off of George Carlin's book "When Will Jesus Bring the Porkchops?" Funny stuff. Maybe I'll just post his version instead.

Happy Mother's Day!

What better time is there to blog? It's early in the morning and I can hear hustle and bustle downstairs in the kitchen. I'm under strict orders to not leave the bed. Whatever can be happening? ;)

I have some pictures that crack me up, so I think I'll post them. My 3 yr. old son has been prone to falling asleep lately, wherever he might be at the time.

At the top of the stairs, outside the bedroom...

Dinnertime at Winger's...

Isn't that fun? You just never know when you might open a door and find him at your feet, out cold.

He's also done very well at his potty-training lately (snaps to his dad!). He can't differentiate between the words "pee-pee" and "poopie". I laugh every time he approaches me, visibly excited, and says, "Mommy! I just went brown stuff!" What can I say? Maybe he'll be a color-freak, like I am.

Sometimes I worry that his big sister is his best friend. I know that it's really a good thing and that they'll be close when they're grown-ups. So usually my worries don't run too deep. But then I see something like this:

Playing dress-up!

Oh well, kids will be kids. They sure look pretty, don't they? :)

Bob Loblaw Law Blog

A couple of months ago Lee and I went to Phoenix AZ, to catch a couple of Oakland A's spring training games. We went to a porn shop while we were there, and we found a board game that made me think of my sister-in-law, Mandoo. Here's a pic of the game:

Un-Uh! No, He Di'int!

It would be difficult to explain why this reminds me of Mandoo, but check out that title, huh? How related to the title are the women in the picture? Somewhat related, is the answer.