Lack of the Spirit?

For some reason, this year, I haven't gotten into the spirit of Fall festivities. I haven't hung decorations. We carved pumpkins (I got as far as carving the lid, that's all) but we left them over at my sister's house and I haven't felt the urge to go retrieve them. We haven't made yummy Fall treats. The Black Forest cake was more in honor of Oktoberfest, not so much Fall. Anyway, I'm just trying to figure out why I'm so complacent about my favorite season this year.

Oh, and why did Kellogg's take the sugar off the raisins in Raisin Bran?

The After

It's funny to me that I'm starting this post when I don't even have suitable After picture yet. I need to hang the potato sack back up on the hanger and take a pic. I'm sure as people arise from the severe-partying-coma over the next few days that I'll see some pictures of me IN the costume, possibly innebriated. If I find one I approve of, I'll post it.

So for now, please be satisfied with a description of the alterations, and a couple of semi-relevant pictures.

I widened the neckline and it kept falling off my shoulders. So to compensate, I put a couple of tiny pleats in the front, and I really should've ironed them so they actually looked like pleats. I took it in about 5 inches on each side and still it was too big. I put slits up each side, which served well for showing off my choice of undies for the evening.

This is a picture which should give more detail as to my costume of choice. It is, naturally, Cleopatra. This is before I danced my brains out and got sweaty-hot and my hair curled. Oh, and it's before my make-up smudged all over my eyes. I looked pretty harsh this morning, I must say!


This is a picture of the delicious Black Forest cake I made for the party. From scratch. With Kirsch liqueur and everything. It was tasty!!

Thoughts about Life part 2

How to define the "Best of Humanity". I've been thinking about this for a while now. A good definition might be "that which builds up a stronger connection between humans".

I envision a little fisherman guy off the coast of Thailand who is skilled at his craft and enjoys doing it. His life and work and attitude benefit those around him, so he's helping to build up a stronger connection between humans. And I'd like to meet him, my hypothetical fisherman dude. :)

What if eating nasty worms or bugs is a delicacy in some given culture, and I'm offered one as a token of respect? Based on my beliefs (and yes, this IS grossing me out), which include embracing the Best of Humanity, I would eat that bug. I would psyche myself out beforehand, quite possibly, but I'd eat it. Entrails? Well, I'd have to come up with a fake allergy to get out of that situation... Because entrails are ew.

What if I brought it closer to home, and applied it to something more practical? Ooh, this gets tricky for me. In general terms, I try to accept people for their strengths. The older I get, the more I see value in other people's lives and experiences.

In specific terms, I'm probably hypocritical. Because lets face it. When it comes down to it, I'm the most important person to me. Yep, that's my dirty truth people. And often I can't be told what to do, regardless of anyone else's own personal experiences. But despite that, I'm learning to deal with people that I have intimate relationships with, like my mom for example. I try to see my mother in an objective light. TRY is the key word. Each day is a test, and each day I find new rationalizations and justifications for being the way I am. At this point, I'm okay with that. Tomorrow? Well, we'll just have to wait and see...

The Before

We are attending a Halloween party on Saturday, and I decided to go uber-cheap with my costume. We stopped at a thrift store this evening and purchased some make-shift costumes, but I’m going to have to tweak mine a bit in order to have it look semi-respectable. Since I’ve taken the task upon myself, I decided I’d post before and after pictures. Yeah, I’ll probably F it up somehow.







Here is a picture of the dress. Or shall we say potato sack? Or shall we say can you believe someone wore this thing?










Here is a picture of the contraption, which, in theory, will help me make that potato sack into something sleek and sexy (with divine intervention, of course). This machine is older than Eric and I combined. Eric wants to know where the gasoline goes, and where the pull cord is. He’s still looking.

The major factor in the inevitable screwing up of my costume is this: I don’t sew. Well, I do a little bit. But I can’t even get the dang bobbin threaded, so I don’t know how it’s going to play out. I may just have to take this thing over to my mom’s, who’s sewing machine is twice as old as mine.

I’ll post the after pictures on Saturday, hopefully! :)

I Will Follow You Into The Dark

By Death Cab For Cutie

Love of mine someday you will die

But I'll be close behind

I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white

Just our hands clasped so tight

Waiting for the hint of a spark

If heaven and hell decide

That they both are satisfied

Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you

When your soul embarks

Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule

I got my knuckles brusied

by a lady in black

And I held my toungue as she told me

"Son, fear is the heart of love"

So I never went back

If heaven and hell decide

That they both are satisfied

Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you

When your soul embarks

Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see

From Bangkok to Calgary

And the soles of your shoes

are all worn down

The time for sleep is now

It's nothing to cry about

Cause we'll hold each other soon

The blackest of rooms

If heaven and hell decide

That they both are satisfied

Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you

When your soul embarks

Then I'll follow you into the dark

Then I'll follow you into the dark

The Insatiable Cry

My boy woke up in a mood today. He's been crying nearly non-stop. We're talking primal scream, snot pouring, nothing-will-make-it-better cry. He runs around the house, grunting and sobbing with each footstep. Back and forth from the living room to the bedroom, up the stairs and down the stairs, sometimes pausing to fling himself backwards onto the floor. It's 9 am and my head is pounding.

Anyone want a boy? I'll wipe his nose for you before hand...

Alex Took This...

Alex' review of San Francisco, where he visited last week:

"Chinatown smells bad. Mom didn't like Ghirardelli's as much as she should have. They should get a machine to turn the cable cars around. A funny bird is the pelican."

San Francisco Skyline

The Rock

Surprises

Why is it that I rarely can be surprised? What is it about me that I tend to see things coming? Am I observant? Am I expectant?

Eric surprised me in a bad way once (I'm not holding it over your head, just acknowledging it for the sake of my thought progression). He's made a few attempts over our years together to surprise me on Valentine's or birthdays, but hasn't really achieved that. Ooh wait, one year he surprised me with a gift certificate for a massage at a local day spa. I wasn't expecting that, and it led to my eventual attendance of massage therapy school. So that was kind of a big one, and that surprise actually shaped a part of my life in a way. :)

I was surprised when my daughter turned out to be a daughter. I was convinced that I was pregnant with a boy.

Lately I have discovered that I'm often wrong when I interpret people's reactions. It's been a difficult task for me to accept that my predictions / assumptions / interpretations might be incorrect. I take it as a growth stage that I'm in though. It's all part of my master plan to have my life be fluid and just go along for the ride. So maybe I'll start to be surprised more and more...

My Monday

I have someone over at my house. His name is Tommy. Tommy is 5 years old, and he's in Kindergarten. We are having a lot of fun. He ate breakfast, he put on a movie but he's not watching it, and he investigated all my chinese stuff.

We've had discussions about how coffee is a diuretic, how chinese calligraphers perform their craft, about Buddha, how a flame of a candle goes out when oxygen is removed, and bacon and sausages.

And his dad dropped him off.

Tommy thinks this is good, and we should publish it now. :)

(I'm watching him for a friend today, and we're having fun talking. This kid is very well spoken so I enjoy our chats. I'm forming another thought to blog about, but this was fun for us to do together...)

Celeste

I'm looking for a camera.

Today was a day for doing chores; deep cleaning the bathroom, touching up in the kitchen, vacuuming the living room and stairs, folding laundry, and getting rid of the gigantic DI pile in the bedroom. I'm not a cleaning person. I avoid it. But today just felt like a good day to get things respectable. It gave me quiet time, time to get some thinking in. Alone-time with La, shall we say.

Recently I was looking through my box of pictures, and I came across one of me, my brother, and my mom in the airport, returning from Argentina. So while I was busy scrubbing the bathroom floor today, my thoughts drifted back to that particular trip.

My parents took me there when my brother (Montgomery Q) was done with his 2 yr. LDS mission. It was the kind of vacation that I like: part relaxed interaction with natives, and part site-seeing. Montgomery Q took us to meet many of the Mormon families he knew in the area. These people were humble and gracious and fed us until we couldn't walk. We were greeted with kisses, we parted with kisses, they hugged us over and over again. I was 16 years old, and I knew I was in love with this country.

At one house (I believe their name was Jouinsse), we had a game night with some of their friends and other missionaries. I remember a young girl, about my age, who vied to be on my team. She couldn't speak English very well, maybe just a few words. Her name was Celeste. She had beautiful blue eyes with long eyelashes, and short, straight brown hair which she curled under. I didn't know who she was, really, but I was aware that she didn't live at that house. Maybe a friend of the Jouinsse's daughter, Anna? I'm not sure. She and I laughed awkwardly and enjoyed the game (Pictionary en Español) without understanding each other's comments.

The next day was Sunday and my family attended Sacrament meeting there in Libertad. Celeste came and sat by me, holding my hand. We Utah Mormons were a novelty for the ward, so they asked us to stand and bear our testimonies, while my brother translated for us. I bawled my eyes out. The "spirit" was strong that day.

Afterwards, we said our goodbyes in the lobby of the church, hugging our host family and shaking the hands of, yep, I think everyone in the ward. I remember a large person stepping out of the way, and there behind him I saw Celeste. She was looking at me with her blue eyes and they were welling up with tears. She approached me, threw her arms around my neck, and we hugged while her tears spilled. I wiped a tear from her cheek with my thumb. She shyly giggled and broke her gaze at last. We held hands and gave each other knowing looks. (But what were we knowing? That's what I'd like to know.)

And then we left. I've never exchanged letters with her, I've never seen her since.

Now I'm looking for a camera, because remembering that experience makes me never want to be without a camera.

Making Sense Out of Nonsense

I don't post much about religion or Mormons these days, but AzEx' conversation with a Christian apologist got me thinking.

It's amazing how illogical it all sounds to me now. All of it! I'm trying to figure out when/how I switched to such a scientific way of thinking about things. Here is a list of things that I find to be complete nonsense:

* SomeONE being responsible for the creation of the earth/universe

* Mary being a virgin, yet conceiving a child

* Jesus' entire purpose (to come to earth and teach men the way back to their "father", and dying for our sins and being our salvation. I might have to make a separate post about this one...)

* Christianity is only the third or fourth largest religion, and still they think they've got all the answers

* Jesus bleeding from every pore and bearing everyone's sins. Everyone's sins. All billions of us. And, he bore ALL the sins. So we're talking astronomical amounts of sins he "bore". Uh-huh.

* Striving each and every day for something more, something in the future, something unknown or unseen. How great would the world be if we all would strive to live in the Present?? (This reminds me of a sign I saw in the Provo city building, when I was there to pay for a parking ticket. It read: The past is just history, The future is a mystery, Each day is a gift, That's why we call it the "present")

* That any entity can define happiness, marriage, the afterlife, or morality for anyone else and call it absolute. Preposterous.

I can't think of anything else off the top of my head. Got anything else that seems completely illogical to you? Please share! :)

What it was like for me without my phone this past Mon-Wed

My heart starts pounding. I can feel my palms sweating, even though my hands are cold. "Am I missing a call from my daughter's school? A text from my friend? A potential job interview?" Questions race through my head. Fears escalate. Frantically, I hope beyond hope that my sister is home from work today and on her computer. I need to go to her house, I think. I need to get to a phone.

I pack the kids into the mini-van. My daughter is bewildered because she had only gone out to play not long before. "Mommy, you said I could play...! Where are we going?"

"Mommy needs to get to a phone, honey. We're going to your Aunt's house. I gotta make some calls," is the only response I am coherent enough to formulate.

I crank the music for distraction, and get carried away in Les Miserables. "There's a grief that can't be spoken. There's a pain goes on and on. Empty chairs at empty tables, where my PHONE is dead and gone...," I sing. Oh NO! I can't escape the madness. Switch songs.

"Take my hand, and lead me to salvation! Take my love, for love is everlasting. And remember the truth that once was spoken: To love another person is to see the face of god!" Whew! I make it through that song. No tears, no heartache.

Moments later we're at my sister's. I get on her phone and call my husband. He's working on the situation, and encourages me to find the dipstick who's screwing us over and kick him, HARD. I have a new task, an address, a phone number for the dipstick. I have focus. I'm on a mission. I proceed with my duties diligently. With the help of my sister's phone I actually speak with the dipstick. He's apologetic yet also makes excuses. My children are witness to sailor-speak. They wonder why their mommy has such an animalistic glaze in her eyes.

Dipstick promises payment and I settle down. The fury retreats, and I'm left with the return of the anxiety. Later in the evening I feel beaten down, broken. "I'm never gonna get my phone turned back on," I lament. The night before me seems long and unending.

Just at a moment when I actually am not looking at the phone, I hear the Arrested Development theme song play. What? Where? HUH?!? That's my phone! What's going on? I search desperately, finding my phone within the folds of my blanket. It's my husband calling me! And with that, he saves the day. The phone is back on. The anxiety from before completely washes away, that quickly. I'm at peace. "Come with me, where chains will never bind you. All your grief, at last, at last behind you..." :)

Picture This (cause damnit I didn't have my camera):

I'm sitting here laptopping, blogging, emailing etc. I hear clinking in the kitchen so I decided I better get up and go check it out.

My nearly 2 yr old son is wearing only a diaper and standing on a chair he must've dragged across the kitchen to the counter. He has an open sippy cup in one hand and a pot of coffee in the other. I watch as he finishes pouring coffee into his sippy cup, sets down the pot, gets the lid, and starts to screw it into place. I tried to grab my camera but it doesn't have a memory card in it. :(

That kid in incorrigible! I swear...

White rectangle against the black night

It's an ungodly hour, and here I post. Watch out for low-flying random topics.

Spelling. Amongst my friends, I am known as two things: a Tequila Snob (meaning I can only stand high-end stuff. No Cuervo for me, no thank you!) and a Spelling Snob. Let's discuss...

I don't spell correctly all the time. Sometimes I mix usages; for example, recently I used pour instead of poor. For the life of me, I have to consciously speak out loud words like "they're" (they are) or "definitely" (de-finite-ly).

What does proper spelling say to me though? It shows careful thought, it shows appreciation for language, it shows validation of one's education. I hereby embrace that I'm a Spelling Snob. So be it! I probably come across as arrogant to my friends. Oh well. I just appreciate fine spelling, and if that makes me conceited, I can deal.

Recently I have come up with Reasons to Stay in Utah. On the one hand, it's a relief because moving is always a pain. But on the other hand, it's very sad to me. I was dead set on high-tailing it out of here! I'm seeing some benefits to staying, though, and they've been occupying a large chunk of my thought scheme of late.

We haven't gotten any of our Halloween decorations out. We haven't purchased pumpkins for carving. Halloween is fast approaching, and I have yet to even acknowledge it. It's the 17th already?!? Sheesh.

There's some dog barking in the neighborhood. I wonder what his deal is? Doesn't he know he should be asleep? I also just heard the furnace turn on. Or rather, the air coming out of the ducts. It's getting chilly here at night, so we've had to use the furnace or our body parts will flash freeze and shatter when we roll out of bed at 7 am. I HATE 7 am. But I've mentioned that before.

"Lord let us out of this hall full of mirrors
Make it all clearer
Dont let us fall
In the middle of the night..."

-Jimmy Buffett Middle of the Night

Dave Took This...

"Next Time, Don't Wear Flip-Flops. "

This was taken at Cedar Breaks on Saturday afternoon.

"Why Don't I Live on the East Coast? Because God Lives in Southern Utah, That's Why."

This was taken just south of St. George at about 5 pm.

Christy's Elbow

Oh yes. Don't doubt me. Your elbow haunts the archives of my blog from this day forward.

I've Been Tagged!!

SML tagged me!!! Sorry I took a decade to realize, but you're right, I totally want to play...

3 smells that I love:
· pumpkin pies baking in the oven
· hot apple cider
· my mango lotion

3 smells that I hate:
· diapers and wipes (clean or dirty)
· eggs
· dog farts (or any farts, for that matter)

3 jobs that I have had in my life:
· phone surveying
· waitressing
· crop insurance underwriter

3 movies that I could watch over and over:
· Fifth Element
· Lord of the Rings trilogy
· Spiderman 1 & 2 (and soon 3 also)

3 fond memories:
· Camping from Astoria, Oregon all the way down the coast to Bend, Oregon.
· Listening to Thunderstruck by AC/DC before softball games
· My brother Dave explaining his college calculus to me while he was doing his homework

3 jobs I would love to have:
· the guy who switched the guitars out for the guitarist in The Killers
· travel writer
· host on Saturday Night Live

3 places I have lived:
· Orem, UT
· Alpine, UT
· Raleigh, NC

3 things I like to do:
· sing, sing, sing
· blog
· hanging with friends AND having sex, but not simultaneously, they just both deserved recognition (or as TLC reminded me, Orgasm should be at the top of this list)

3 of my favorite foods:
· Mexican (It's TACO TIME!!!)
· Sunday dinners at mom's
· Ooh, ooh, baked potatoes with everything on 'em

3 places I would like to be right now:
· Travelling Europe
· Blue Ridge mountains
· anywhere warm, sunny, and lovely

3 websites I visit daily:
· Craig's List
· All y'alls blogs
· Site Meter (my secret has been revealed)

3 things that make me cry:
· Life
· Beauty
· Realizing

3 friends that I am tagging:
· Sideon (welcome back!)
· Rebecca (we live far away because you moved...Remember?)
· JOOM-Amy (where ya been?)

The Power has the Power

Argh! I was just watching V for Vendetta--and loving it--when at the climax of the movie, our power went out. It was just for a moment, but it was long enough to reset our DVD player. That isn't a big deal except I can't find the remote for it, and I can't access the "scene selection" option from the actual player. I think the only thing I can do is rewatch the whole movie and keep hitting "next" until I get to the scene that I was on last.

Why, oh why am I so dependent on a remote? And where the H could it be??

A Love Letter

Ah, sweet blog, with whom I've been apart too long...

Dear My Blog,

You are my sanctuary; one tiny corner of the universe where I am at the center. You expect nothing from me, and without guilt I can give to you as little or as much as I have to give. You are a solice in a world full of compromise.

You don't get upset with me when things don't work out your way. You don't take every word I use, and turn them against me. You don't make fun of me. You never tell me to be anything other than who I am. You hear my complaints, and just by your listening I am able to work through my problems. You allow me to sort through the mess in my brain, and never insist that I'm hurting you or imposing myself onto you.

You go with the flow. You are reasonable and rational, and you take things as they come. You help me to realize that my happiness is dependant on no one but myself. You are a reflection of me, my best and worst moments, and yet I don't feel judged.

Dear My Blog, I'm lucky to have you as a source of comfort. You are an oasis to me, as I traverse the barren, lonesome deserts of life. I thank you.

Your sincere friend,

La

Tequila--a Friday Funny

Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmecist about tequila.

Tequila is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Tequila can help ease you out of your shyness, and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything! You'll notice the benefits of tequila almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses, you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you'll discover many talents you never knew you had.

Stop hiding, and start living, with tequila!

Tequila may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use tequila. However women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, drymouth and a desire to sing karaoke, and play all night rounds of strip poker, truth or dare and naked twister.

Warning: the consumption of alcohol may make you think you're whispering when you're not; is a major factor in dancing like a retard; may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you're in love with them; also may cause you to think you can sing. Alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning. Alcohol may make you think that you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. It may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people; and it may lead you to think that people are laughing with you. Alcohol may cause pregnancy, and it also may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked.

So what are you waiting for? Stop hiding, and start living, with tequila!!

To Rebecca: Let's Chat over Blogs

No, actually, I didn't know that the immaculate conception was talking about Mary's conception. Okay, so her mother and father were mortal, and so by right she should've been stained with Original Sin. But she wasn't. Her soul was pure.

And what I was referring to in my last post is called Virgin Conception, or Incarnation, referring specifically to Jesus Christ. I still would love to see how that worked!!

I'm learning lots about things in which I do not believe! :)

Say a little prayer for me, yeah, yeah!

Something happened to me last night which hasn't happened in well over a year.

I was getting ready for bed, thinking about the day, thinking about life. I thought about how a friend of ours is going out of town for the weekend, and before I knew it, this thought popped into my head: "Please, God, bless ____ to have a safe flight, and find peace in his life."

I didn't always say my prayers at night. I didn't like kneeling beside the bed, and I didn't like such a physical display of humility. *insert judgement here* But what I did do, however, was keep constant prayers in my head. I would "converse" with God in my head all the time. The idea of there existing someone who could read my mind, know my thoughts, always bugged me. But I would tuck away that negativity and I learned to embrace the God In My Brain.

After I lost my belief in the truth of the LDS church, I applied the same questions to my belief in Jesus and God themselves. I couldn't prove their existence or divinity, which is the only way I would believe. At this point I'd need God himself to descend his throne and show me exactly how that immaculate conception worked. (heehee, I'm so dramatic!)

And now we've reached the Point of this post: It was easy for me to get that god out of my brain. I stopped attributing my OWN thoughts to him. I've learned that any conversations were with myself. So, last night, I threw myself for a loop when I realized what I was saying. It was foreign and strange to me. I had to shake my head and say, "Huh??"

I'm not worried about it though. The energy behind prayer is valid, and I do wish my friend peace. It was just a moment of weirdness, and the best thing to do about those is to blog about them! :) Happy Thursday, friends!

Monday October 11, 1999

Seven years ago exactly (about 10 am EST) I was headed down to the hospital in Raleigh NC because I had an amnionic fluid leak, and my doctor told me he wanted to check it out. I was 1 day overdue with my first baby. The doctor took an ultrasound, but the baby was too big to determine the gender. He thought it would be a good idea to go ahead and induce me, just to be on the safe side regarding the leak.

So I walked from his office into the hospital and checked in. The nurse started me on nubane, which is a narcotic. I didn't know this at the time about myself, but narcotics + me = sleep. I spent most of the day in a half-asleep catatonic state. They had also started me on a pitocin drip, which makes contractions come hard and strong. Ouchies. But I was drugged up, so mostly I was just annoyed that this Pain kept waking me out of my stupor. I requested an epidural.

Well that worked. No pain, relaxing sleep, I was a happy camper.

Within 12 hours of driving to see the doctor that morning, I was pushing my first child out of my body. A living being came from inside me. WEIRD! Eric was standing on my right side, watching the whole thing. I could feel enough to know when the baby was out, and the doctor declared, "It's a GIRL!" I looked at Eric who had tears streaming down his face. They placed my daughter on my chest, all yucky and covered in gook, and I met my little tiny sweet girl for the first time.

Eric called his parents, who were bowling that night with their league. He talked to his mom, and told her it was a girl. This was the first girl on their side of the family, so I could hear her squeal in delight. She yelled to my father-in-law "It's a GIRL!!!" and I could hear him shout hooray in the background. They were at the hospital within the hour to see their baby granddaughter.

Today that wonderful girl is 7. She's on a field trip with her first grade class. She can tie her shoes, has beautiful handwriting, and she loves to give hugs and kisses. She likes to read. She loves to ride her bike. She's growing up before our eyes; she's no longer the helpless little bundle, all wrapped up in her blanket and warm. She's getting so big! :)

Alex Took This...

Why don't I live in the sticks like La? Because stuff happens downtown, that's why!

From Dave:

Last Wednesday we went to see the silent movie "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" down at the SL Library. This wasn't the 1941 version with Spencer Tracy, but the 1920 silent feature with Drew Barrymore's grandfather, John Barrymore. A pop/synth group out of Boston called Devil Music Ensemble performed their new score live along with the movie.

Alex loves the library and was enchanted by the feel of the atrium at night. Here's his vision. Its called "Why don't I live in the sticks like La? Because stuff happens downtown, that's why!"

Here's my review of the movie: Less hamming, more talking. That would be nice.

Here's my review of the score: Spooky, enthralling. Omit the movie, and this would have been an ASS-kicker of a concert.

My Own Personal Magic

I inhale deeply. My breath levels out, my heart rate slows, I'm ready. I place my hands on this warm, breathing, alive body before me. Initial contact. Touch. It's the most intimate experience a human can have, and it's in my control. I'm responsible for this person. I connect with this person on a level which many humans never get to enjoy.

My hands on a person's back. The feeling is warm, sometimes hot, and slippery. Spreading lotion across a person's bare skin. Learning their curves, bumps, anatomy. Their body is speaking to me, through my fingertips. I'm feeling where they hold their pain. I'm feeling where their body needs attention. I'm feeling their emotions, history, their life through my hands.

For example, much of my time might be spent between their shoulder blades and also on their shoulders. Tightness in those areas tells me about their insecurities, their self-image. Slouching, rolling the shoulders forward, hanging the head are all manifestations of poor self-esteem. I can sense this just by touching, my hands exploring their muscles.

Massage is part science, part compassion, part energy. Take away any one of those things and a massage will fall short of its potential. If both my partner and I (because that is what a client truly is: a partner in healing) approach a massage understanding all three aspects, open to possibility, magic can happen.

Acute injuries can heal more quickly. Old chronic pains can dissipate without medication. Abuses of all kinds can be addressed and released. But more common is the feeling of calm and peace we both feel throughout our time together. We've connected. We've shared, likely without saying many words. It's magic, and it's magic that I've personally been honored to experience.

Song of the Day

Wishing You Were Here
by Alison Moyet

I can't begin to tell you how it feels,
It's a clear blue sky.
Out here, my heart so full it's fit to burst,
Just counting the hours

Oh such a long way gone
How to share a day.
Here's my only way
Send myself to you.

Wishing you were here
Wishing you were here

I can't begin to tell you where I've been,
It's a world behind.
And if we are to find our heaven here
We just have to look harder.

Now I can see you
I never could before.
Now I want nothing more
When I close my eyes.

Wishing you were here
Wishing you were here

Oh such a long way gone
How to share a day.
Here's my only way
When I close my eyes.

Wishing you were here
Wishing you were here

I can't begin to tell you how it feels.

My Halloween Costume

Okay, here's my criteria. I don't want to spend much money. I like having my face painted, as opposed to masks. I like my eyes to look wicked-cool. I really like the picture of Siouxsie and the Banshees on Sideon's blog. Check out her eyes!!!

Christy will be at the same party as me, so I can't go as Satine. Not that I have any disillusions that I could ever come remotely close to looking as good as Nicole Kidman! (Christy, you'll look stunning, so go for it!!!)

I'm leaning towards some kind of cat-theme. OOH OOH, I should dress up like one of the characters in Cats. Or at least paint my face like that... *swooning at the possibilities*

K so help me think of how to get a cheap costume that's at least half-way between pathetic and fabulous.

Just Shootin the Shite

What's the name of that one movie? The one with Audrey Hepburn, where's she's blind and she lives in London (maybe?) and a guy comes into her house to kill her. But then she turns out the lights to the house, because that will make it hard for him to maneuver and she'll have the advantage, but then he opens up the fridge, and uses the fridge light to find her. But then she unplugs the fridge. What's that one called??

I was thinking about that movie today because of my freaky friend Matt who looks scary with blue lights (specifically the hot tub lights) shining on his face. And since he can freak me out fairly easily, I was thinking of that movie because it freaks me out. But I'm not blind. And Audrey saves the day, so it turns out fine for her.

Speaking of turning out fine, I need to think of a Halloween costume. I've never really been into dressing up for Halloween. One year I painted my face in the same markings that my Siberian Husky, Sam, had. Then I put my hair in 2 ponytails, to represent ears. It was pretty cute.

Since then, though, I haven't gone out of my way to dress up. This year I really ought to put forth some effort. I like doing things that involve exotic or complex make-up. I used to do make-up for the plays in high school. I was pretty good, and I really liked the fantasy stuff. My favorite make-up I ever did was for the play A Midsummer Night's Dream. I got to paint all the cool designs on the fairies.

Speaking of make up, that's the best part of fighting, wouldn't you agree?

So to conclude: Scary movies + make up = ramblings on a Sunday evening... :)

Memories of Cold

Hurricanes, tornadoes, blizzards, drought, rain so heavy you can't see the hood of your car, multiple feet of snow, and more...

I've experienced a lot of weather phenomena. When I moved to North Carolina after high school, my love of weather was heightened because it's so different from Utah. One winter we were hit by a Noreaster, which dumped 2 feet of snow on the Triangle area in a very short period of time. That part of the country becomes paralyzed in snow. Everything shuts down. Roads stay slick and treacherous for days. When the threat of snow is forecasted, grocery stores get a mad rush of pour poor souls buying bread, milk, beer, peanut butter and other essentials. I used to think it was ludicrous, but soon realized that I better do the same, or I would be hurting in the aftermath.

Freezing Rain is a weather occurance that both fascinates me and scares me. I had never experienced it before moving to North Carolina. Freezing rain is rain that freezes right before impact. It creates the most spectacular sites! Power lines become draping valances. Trees bend under the weight of ice. Roads glisten in the sunlight. The world is a frozen, crystal canvas...

Beautiful though it is, the ice creates BIG problems. Transformers blow, power lines snap in two, and trees fall. Driving on a sheet of ice is one of the hardest things I've ever done. And it's cold!!! When the power goes out (as it most likely will) the temperature in the house drops fast. Firewood is a must-have. It was during a freezing rain storm that we would have family campouts around our fireplace. None of us were very warm, but it was an adventure!

Lesson I learned from living in NC: Mother Nature must be respected. This world is a curious and wonderful playground!

Things That Make Me Happy

(a great idea that Sister Mary Lisa came up with...may all our lists be as long as hers!)

I had started a post earlier about birthdays, since we have a lot coming up in our family, but it turned into a pity party. So I decided to give myself a kick in the behind and recognize the GOOD things in life.

Hugs and kisses from my kids, preferrably with tickles and giggles

Soaking in the hot tub under a star-filled sky

Catching up with old friends

Singing at the top of my lungs in the car, shower, at the bar, or anywhere, really

Wading in a stream

Dragonflies

Seeing Timpanogos out my living room window every day

Campfires

Eating out, anytime, anywhere (well, almost anywhere!!)

Going out to someplace where I get to dress up (plays, musicals, symphonies, etc)

Pop Secret Homestyle popcorn, chocolate covered cherries, Lucky Charms, sweet tea, Carolina BBQ, pizza, Char-Grill cheeseburgers

Massages and Pedicures

Great tunes (Depeche Mode is my current obsession)

Delicious smelling lotions, nail polish, make-up, new shoes, new clothes

There's a Point in here somewhere, trust me...

7 am is brutal. I'm not sure what it is about that specific time, but I don't like it. Oh wait, I just figured it out:

When you wake up at 6 am you know you're getting up early, so your brain is prepared for grogginess. When you wake up at 8 am you've had a full night's sleep (most likely) so your brain is at its earliest point of full wakefulness. But at 7 am? Your brain is confused. It's early enough (and still dark out, for now) that your brain wants you to stay in bed. But it's late enough that you know the day is starting, and so you feel like maybe you should get up. It's guilt, grogginess, and a severe want for your bed. That's what it is!

So this morning as my daugher was getting ready for school, I was trying to devise ways for her to get ready and get to school all on her own. So I can stay in bed. What??

I decided that what she needs is a little lesson in fashion. Some people are born with a natural fashion sense. My niece had usurped her right to choose for herself by the age of 2! My daughter does not have this fashion-sense trait. Her only criteria for clothing is that it has to be clothing, and the tag can't itch. She and her dad come up with the same mismatched outfits, so neither of them have "picking out" privileges. I need to put together a short list of fashion MUSTS, that my almost-7 yr old can comprehend and implement. Here's what I have so far:

* Pick out your bottoms first, because you have less of those. Find a shirt next, based on your choice of bottoms.

* Jeans go with nearly EVERY top you have. Only choose a blue top as your last choice, but even still, blue would go with jeans.

* If it hurts to wear it, it's too little. If your tummy is hanging out, it's too little. If it's too little, do NOT put it back in your drawer. Throw it in the DI pile. (YES I still support the church. Sue me.)

* Socks matter least. If you can't find the right color, just grab any color. (ok, you see how fashionable her mama really is!)

Now here's what I'm wondering. Is there a way (chart, game, etc) to teach her which colors DO NOT go together? I mean, orange and blue are fine if you're a Bears fan, but for a 7 yr old girl??? Yikes...

Dave ('s camera) Took This...

Week 3 It's so tragic when you have to settle on the family pic. The boy was in no mood to get his picture taken, so this one of him sitting and semi-smiling/semi-freaking-out was rare in the batch we have. My nephew who took it (a different nephew) offered to photoshop my face off and put a different one in its place. Eh, I don't care that much... But I really should've lightened it up before posting it. OH WELL. I had to resize it too, because it was taken in raw format, so the original is HUGE. Kinda like my mouth!! :)

This is a neat (?) double exposure picture which Dave wanted to be this weeks contribution. So, since this is HIS feature, I'll post it. It's sort of philosophical...

And on the first day, there was rest.

The weekend was fun. It feels like we were constantly on the go, though. Today we'll sit back, relax, and not concern ourselves with the world outside our house. Okay, but to be fair, my family always spontaneously comes up with things, so my plans of nothing might just go awry.

Here's a question I ask just to humor myself. But I DO expect a reply! *angry eyebrows*

If you were God, or had god-like omnipotence, what would you change about THIS day? This one, right now?

Discuss.

Counting down...

There is 40 minutes until the afternoon session of gen conf. Okay so we're totally playing a drinking game while watching it. Who's with me??? :)