Furnace on the Fritz

Ok, it's not really broken. It was working rather well, although at the expense of over $220 per month. It's just that a weird thing happened to me on Tuesday evening. Eric was working, and I was home, just watching the Olympics. There was a knock at my door. Salesman? I hope not. Ward member? Please, no!

It turned out it was a guy from the local gas company, who was in our neighborhood because a smell of gas had been reported. Through the official nose-test, he concluded it was coming from our house. But then he said something that keeps seeming stranger and stranger to me. He said that the smell he smelled outside our house was carbon monoxide. K, wait a second. I asked him if CO wasn't odorless. He said, yes it is, but it does have an odor when it's mixed with other chemicals. Not once did he say that there was a natural gas leak, which is weird, because he then turned off my natural gas (with my permission). I was freaked out that there could be CO in our house, slowly killing us. I packed up the kids, and went straight to my mom's house, where we spent the night. Painfully. (It's mom's house; 'nuff said)

So now we're replacing our old furnace. It needed to be done anyway, as it's the same age as the house. But tonight we're sleeping here, albeit a little coldly. The nice heating/air guy gave us a couple of portable heaters which are doing well at keeping us fairly comfortable. We are predicting many years of satisfaction with our new furnace. It will save us money on the gas bill, and will be much less noisy than the old one.

Has anyone heard of CO having an odor? Has this gas-company guy inhaled too much poison himself? I'd appreciate any input.

Can't Sleep, So...

I'll just write a couple of things that I'm thinking about.

My husband is turning 30 in a couple weeks. 30 is a kick-ass age, I think. I'm pretty excited to hit that mark myself. Also, one of my sisters is turning 40 next week. She's decided that she doesn't want to have birthdays anymore. Aging is weird. It's one of 2 things we can guarantee in life (the other is that we'll die), and yet we fight it, hate it. It's going to happen, people. This is as much a reminder to myself as to anyone else.

I've been having so much fun getting to know post-mormons in/around this area. These are decent people. They look normal! They aren't suffering; they aren't regretting; they don't have horns. The fact is, I like them because they are brave and true to themselves. It's not easy to break through the brainwashing, and yet here they are, trudging through the Mormon Muck like troopers. I am glad that I found them.

This past week my siblings and I were emailing each other our death-requests. You know, just in case one of us dies, we don't want anyone freaking out that my brother's dead body is naked and gruesome. He'll be the first to go, so he wants us all to have that mental image engraved in our heads. Dying sucks, but probably only for the living. I hope that dying doesn't suck for the one dying. I guess in some cases it would, but in general I hope it's full of peace and calm. Not what the person is experiencing physically, but what they're experiencing spiritually or mentally.

Ok, well it's late, and I keep typing all my words wrong. Sure sign of sleepiness. Bye!

One Step in my Recovery

I was at the Recovery from Mormonism bulletin board today, and something new hit me. Maybe it's just a phase of my recovery, but I really don't like how many people on that board generalize all their complaints by laying the blame on the church. Not that I think the church is innocent. But these people are taking a single incident, by a single member, and calling that proof of how messed up the church is.

For instance, a guy who is trying to get a new computer system is being screwed by the mormon guy he hired to build it. The tech has used pirated software, and uses the cheapest parts at the highest cost. So this [exmo] guy tells his mom what's going on, who then proceeds to tell him: "See what happens to you when you don't go to church! You have yourself and your awful attitude towards the church to thank for the mess you're in!"

Ok, it sucks that he's getting ripped off. He made a poor choice when it came to his needs, but oh well. And the mom is retarded for using anti-logic like that. But really. Is it the church's fault? Not really. When I was my very most true-believing Mormon, I wouldn't have been like that. People are sometimes just really dumb. That's all.

So I visit the Recovery Board less and less these days. I'm finding other outlets. And I'm feeling better about my choices and future. Amen.

Sweet tea and Little Dutch Boy cookies

My brain must be fried, because this is all I can think about.

Sweet tea is good. I don't remember having tea much when I was a kid, but I've always like the flavor (as opposed to coffee, which I like the smell of, but hate the taste). I moved to North Carolina when I was 18, and it was all downhill from there. I would drink the stuff all day, if it didn't dehydrate me. Why can't water taste like that?

As for the cookies, they've become much more prevalent, and you see them for every holiday. So now it's the Valentine's Day variety. The way that they're crispy, but crumbly. The almond oil (or whatever) leaves just the right after-taste. I love them so much, I hate them. God, you hear about people who can eat whole bags of M & M's, or Doritos. I could never understand that. Until I met that little dutch boy. Do NOT leave me alone with them.

Ok, well, peace out.

What I thought of Latter-Days, the movie

Latter-Days is the story of a young Mormon missionary who gets sent to Los Angeles. He falls in love with his gay neighbor, and the story consists of his self-discovery, and consequential exit from the Mormon church.

First of all, watch the movie all the way through before you formulate your opinion. I thought I'd never recover from my grief, but then I watched the end. HA! They tricked me...

I really like this movie. It shows a common (but not exclusive to all mormons, I'm sure) response from the boy's family when they learn he's gay. It shows a guy learning to love for the first time in his life. It also shows a shallow, meaningless guy finding something of substance to hold onto.

Here's my one problem, and it's with the plotline. If you can't take a spoiler, don't read on. Aaron (the mormon) makes this big fuss about his "first time". It has to have meaning, etc. So when his first time really comes to pass, what does he do? He walks out without even saying goodbye (or leaving a phone number) to this person who he supposedly loves. I just don't get that. He basically just abandons Christian (the neighbor), and he had to know that Christian would be devastated. Or are guys that oblivious? I guess it isn't just with women... ;)

I'm happy to hear that Steve Sandvoss, the actor who plays Aaron, is NOT gay. Now my crush will certainly be seen to fruition. Just don't tell that to my husband.

No need for Recovery?!?

K, thanks to Anonymous for the God-lesson in the comments of my previous post, but to say there is no such thing as recovery??? Have you BEEN a mormon lately? This has nothing to do with "acceptance by God"; this has to do with seeing the world without my mormon rose-colored glasses on.

Try, just try, to know these things with a sure knowledge:

*How things began and how they'll end

*What "god" is like, physically and spiritually

*How "god" created the earth, and by what means

*The exact methods (i.e. signs and tokens) used to get back to "god"

*The nature of ancient prophets, like Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, etc...

*Paying 10% of your income will keep you off the Outer-darkness roll.

*What to put into your body, and what to abstain from

*When/where to partake of the most intimate aspects of your life

*Joseph Smith prayed and saw God the Father, and Jesus Christ. Later he prayed again and an angel told him about some gold plates hidden in a nearby hill. When he was allowed to finally get those plates, he translated them by the gift and power of the Lord, and the resulting words are now in a book called The Book of Mormon.

Ok, if you have never believed those things so strongly that you'd die for them, you probably don't know what I'm talking about. But see, after 27 years of complete belief, 8 months ago I found out that they really aren't true. 27 years versus 8 months. Cut me some slack, Anonymous. I have to retrain myself how to think, here. And that is called "recovery".

Can of Worms, Meet Sunshine...

My BIC sister and I started this exit process together. Then my convert husband jumped on the bandwagon. Since it started, we've discovered other relatives who don't believe but don't care to come out of the closet for one reason or another. But we have one brother who has never been really active in the church. In fact, I used to get into screaming matches with him because I knew that he was tossing his salvation. Ya, I know, screaming was helpful.

Anyway, this same brother has kindly read my blog, and followed some of my links. He found himself on Recovery for Mormonism, and started reading the short topics page. He discovered that he could relate to stories of hardships, persecution, and families torn apart because of disbelief. He realized emotions were there that he had never known before.

So even though he's been inactive for well over a decade, he's just starting his recovery process. And he didn't even know he needed to recover! Ha, you're welcome for that, bro.

What started out as a "titch of the flu" is now on its 7th day of making me less than normal. It's still just fevers though. I wonder if it isn't psychological. Maybe I'm trying to tell myself something. Today has been better though. I've been able to eat more than I have the past 3 days, so that's a positive sign.

On Sunday, our Home Teachers came to visit us. Actually only one came, and he brought some guy we don't know with him. 2 strange things happened during the course of their visit.

1- HT didn't even bat an eyelash when we told him we had resigned. Yeah, he knew.

2- He asked if they could continue to visit us. I told him sure, if they wanted, but they weren't obligated by numbers or anything. Plus, I told him that he could give a spiritual message, but mentioning Jesus Christ is iffy, and Joseph Smith is a no-no. He then proceeded to give a message about "Following the Master's Blueprint". Yeah, he talked about Christ. It was iffy.

After they left, I realized that I should have told him, "If you really want to visit us, then stop by whenever. If you happen to think about us, give us a call. That's being neighborly." He lives across the street from us, for crying out loud. We never see him except when he home teaches.

I don't expect to be love-bombed, but you never know.